


The Healer's Apprentice

by Princes_Squire



Category: PIERCE Tamora - Works, Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Loyalty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28341018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princes_Squire/pseuds/Princes_Squire
Summary: When Alanna's secret is discovered during the war with Tusaine, she is kicked out of the palace and forced to find a new way to protect her prince, hone her skills, and find her place in the world.This story starts with Alanna's kidnapping in Tusaine and continues through the end of the series, paralleling the events in the books.
Relationships: Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau/George Cooper, Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau/Jonathan of Conté
Comments: 23
Kudos: 35





	1. Damsel in Distress

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from FFN. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This story parallels the events of the books, so I do have a few verbatim snippets of dialogue, especially in this chapter. If it sounds familiar, it probably isn't mine.

Alanna sat chained to the wall in a Tusaine hut as Jem Tanner - or Count Jemis as she had just learned was his true name - and Prime Minister Hilam jeered down at her. She was needling them right back, determined to keep their attention long enough to give the two Tortallan foot soldiers a chance to escape.

Finally, the Tortallan soldiers, Micah and Keel, saw their chance and bolted through the door. Jem and Hilam turned at the sound of their fleeing footsteps. Hilam reached for his gift, but Alanna threw her arms - and thus her magic-suppressing chains - around him to prevent him from throwing a spell after them.

Hilam swore, slapped her, and threw her down, causing a piece of her shirt collar to catch on his armor. The shirt tore all the way down with the force of the throw, revealing the corset Alanna wore to bind her chest flat.

"Well now, that is curious," Jem said, forgetting immediately about the foot soldiers. "What are you hiding, Squire?"

Alanna thought fast as his hands reached for her. The truth was going to come out. Better to confess than endure being groped by this disgusting man.

She kicked his hand away. "Fine, you caught me. I'm a woman. You're vaunted Dain of Melor was publicly beaten by a girl."

The insult went unacknowledged as Jem and Hilam shared a gleeful look. "Such arrogant words from someone who is about to learn just how far they have to fall," Jem taunted.

"This is going to be easier than I thought," Hilam sneered.

"I was just about to say the same," Jonathan said cooly from behind him. "Thank you, Faithful. You seem to have led us to the right place."

Micah, Keel, Gary, Sacherell, and Douglass were behind the Prince, and the cat led the way.

"Come to rescue the damsel in distress, have you?" Jem crooned even as Gary rounded on him.

Jonathan looked immediately to Alanna and noticed the torn shirt that she was trying to hold together.

"The keys to my friend's chains, now," he demanded. And don't try any sorcery, or I'll make you swallow it."

The guard captain tossed Alanna the keys, and she got to work on her chains. "Jonathan, the soldiers are alright, but these two are King Ain's brothers."

"While you're just a little girl playing dress-up," Jem said as Gary tied his hands.

"Gag them," Jonathan ordered immediately. "We don't need any more of this drivel. I think I know how we're going to leave this camp safely. We're taking two guests with us - two very important guests. And I'm sure we can think of a fair ransom, don't you, Duke Hilam? I know King Ain will not think peace too small a price to pay, not for his brothers' lives."

Jonathan and Alanna dropped behind as the group left the hut.

"Are you okay?" Jonathan whispered.

"I'm fine, but they _know_."

Jonathan took off his tunic and handed it to her, just as he had done in the Black City.

"The men think Jem was just shouting petty insults. Hopefully, our guests will be too worried about saving their own skins to press the issue later."

Alanna nodded bravely, but his words did nothing to stop a growing sense of dread.

* * *

Jonathan, Alanna, and the rest of the nobles from the rescue party waited nervously as Roald and Roger interrogated their captives.

Finally, the King and Duke emerged.

The King rubbed his temples and looked at Alanna. "Alan, are you alright?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. Nothing worse than a few bruises."

"Take off your shirt," he ordered flatly.

"I'm really fine-" Alanna began.

"I said, 'take off your shirt.'"

Jonathan jumped in before Alanna could respond again, "Father, I don't think that's necessary-"

Roald put up a hand to stop him. "Jonathan, Alan, come with me. The rest of you, don't go far."

The Prince and his Squire followed the King and Duke into the fort.

"Alan, I'm only going to ask this once, and I expect the truth. Are you a female?" Roald asked when they were alone.

"Yes, Sire," Alanna said to the floor.

"And did you know of this?" he asked Jonathan.

"Yes," Jonathan said, looking his father directly in the eye.

"Who else knows?"

"Only my brother and a couple of Trebond servants," Alanna answered quietly.

"I see. And what else are you lying about?"

"Nothing." She finally got the courage to look up at him. "I am the child of Lord Alan of Trebond, and every vow of loyalty I have ever pledged to the crown or kingdom has been in good faith. I only lied about my name and my gender because I wanted to be a knight."

"You are a snake-" Roger began, but Roald put up a hand to silence him.

"Go wait for us outside," Roald said to Alanna.

She bowed low and left as quickly as she could.

"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Roald asked Jonathan when the door had closed.

"I found out that she was a girl at the Black City as we defeated the Ysandir together. That was, of course, after she had healed me from the sweating sickness. Then she went on to best Dain of Melor, and she has already done more than her share in this war. Yes, she's a girl, but if anyone deserves to be a knight, it's her."

"Dear Cousin," Roger began, "don't you see how she's manipulated you-"

"That 15-year-old girl has done more for this country-" Jonathan started.

"Peace, both of you!" Roald interrupted. I need a moment to think."

After a long stretch of silence, Roald met his son's eyes. "I have made my decision. You will leave immediately with the other nobles who executed this rescue and take her home. They will know the truth, as will Sir Myles and Gareth, but no one else. This 'Alan of Trebond' will disappear forever. Make up whatever excuse you want about what happened to him. I don't care. Just as long as the truth of it never gets out. Then you will return to the palace and wait there until my return."

"Very sensible," Roger agreed.

"Father, no!" Jonathan cried. "After all she has done for Tortall and for me, you can't-"

"Jonathan, enough!" Roald said. "Both of you have been blatantly disobedient. I decreed that any man who crossed the river would be beheaded, and you defied me, abusing your position as heir. She is a liar and a fraud. However, I can't deny that you have both done Tortall a great service. So I'm not going to punish either of you. Instead, all I am going to do is set things back to rights. She can go back to being who she really is. You can pick a new squire if you like. If that's unpleasant, then it is a consequence of your own making.

Tell the others my decision. They are all sworn to absolute secrecy on this matter, and I want you gone from this place tomorrow."

Jonathan wanted to argue, to plead, to do anything, but he knew that tone in his father's voice. He bowed and left the room.

* * *

The young men sat in shock as Alanna shared her secret and Jonathan relayed the King's orders.

Jonathan's constant grip on Alanna's shoulder and the tone of his explanation made it clear that he was on Alanna's side and expected them to be too.

"Pack your things and be ready to leave by noon tomorrow," Jonathan concluded. "The official story for anyone who asks is that we're being sent away for our disobedience. I'm sure you all have questions, but save them for the road."

They all went their separate ways, and Jonathan and Alanna went to find Myles.

* * *

Alone in their tent later that night, Jonathan punched the side of the tent in frustration as he paced. "There must be something else I can do. But Father won't speak to me. Myles hasn't been able to persuade him either. Roger was downright condescending when I talked to him, acting as if you were a defective toy that was being taken away from me for my own good."

"I don't see what else there could be," Alanna responded miserably.

"But what will you do?"

"I guess all that's left for me is to go back to Trebond and help manage it with Coram. Not many adventures in that, but maybe it won't be so bad. With Father dead, Thom is Lord, and he won't try to force me to do anything I don't want."

"No, no, that can't be it," Jonathan said. "You'd go crazy with boredom. And you're already a hero. You deserve to be out there doing what you're best at."

He sat down beside her. "I know you won't like this, but you could wait a bit, then have Thom present you at court as his eligible sister, and then I could marry you."

"Jon-"

"I know, but think about it. You'd be back at the palace with your friends, where you belong. We can keep going on adventures together, and you wouldn't even have to clean my armor or serve at parties. And, Alanna, I didn't just kiss you last week for sport."

Alanna shook her head. "You'll be king one day! You have to marry for the good of the realm. And your father would see right through it if we tried that. He'd be furious. I can't ask you to choose me over him, not again."

He opened his mouth to argue, but Alanna stopped him with a firm shake of her head. "Please don't. You know I want nothing more than to stay by your side, but not like that. We'll figure something out."

Hesitantly at first and then decisively, Jonathan pulled Alanna into his arms. "When I'm king, I'll change things. I'll let girls become knights, and if you're still interested, the door to the ordeal of knighthood will be open to you. But that may be a very long way away."

She relaxed into his grip, letting her head rest on his chest. "Thank you, Jon. This changes nothing about my commitment to you. My life and my sword are yours no matter what happens."

He tightened his arms around her and wiped away the tears she couldn't stop from falling.

* * *

Alanna said goodbye to Myles, and no one else. The knight hugged her tightly and assured her that she could come to him if she ever had any need. The magnitude of his offer and his show of affection astounded her. She knew he was fond of her, but she had expected some measure of shock and betrayal. It was a relief that he wasn't angry with her, but it also made leaving that much harder.

They set out the next day at noon as planned. They were relatively quiet on the road, but when they stopped to make camp, the young men were bursting with questions. After a while, Jonathan pleaded exhaustion and went to his tent as the others talked late into the night.

"So that's why you hate swimming! That always confused me so much."

"And that explains why Jon randomly gets so bossy about teams when we play a game shirts vs. skins."

"Think of all those poor ladies. Remember Lady Annabella? She was beautiful, significantly shorter than then all the others, and practically throwing herself at you. We couldn't understand how you could be so uninterested."

"Oh, and Delia, you could tell that she was so frustrated that she couldn't charm you."

The men roared with laughter as Alanna blushed deeper and deeper red. Again, she was surprised at the reaction. She had never learned to think of any of it as funny before.

Eventually, they sobered as they began talking about her future.

"But what happens now?" Gary asked. "We just drop you at home, and you go back to life as a noble lady?"

"I suppose so," Alanna said. "I'll just be the spinster of Trebond."

"You could still get married," Sacherell said.

Alanna snorted. "What nobleman in his right mind would want to marry me? I don't know the first thing about being a lady."

"Maybe your family will strike some deal with a border lord who's grateful to marry into a prominent house," Sacherell mused. "That's what happened to my aunt."

The other men glared at him, and Alanna shook her head. "My brother wouldn't do that to me, thank the gods."

"Well, one of us could marry you," Douglass said quietly.

"That's an idea," Gary said. "What do you think of it, Raoul? The two of you could be very happy not going to balls together."

"I-I suppose…" Raoul started.

"That's sweet but completely ridiculous," Alanna said. "You should marry pretty girls who know how to do...lady-ish things. You all just saved me from certain torture and likely death. Spinsterhood doesn't look so bad by comparison. You owe me nothing."

"I would marry you, though, you know, if you needed it," Raoul said haltingly.

Alanna smiled at him, "Thank you, but I don't need it. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. And truly, thank you for saving me. I am in your debt."

"No, you aren't, but if you were, I would insist that you repay us by teaching us another one of those bawdy songs you learned from the soldiers at the Drell. Or, wait, is that an inappropriate thing to ask since you're a girl?"

Alanna rolled her eyes, then leaned forward and began to sing, "There once was a maid from Maren, who was known for not much carin'..."

* * *

The next morning they rode off in somewhat better spirits.

"So what are we going to say happened to you?" Raoul asked.

"Dead is probably the simplest," Sacherell offered.

"No," Jonathan said firmly. "It needs to be something she can come back from if I can talk Father around."

"You could have amnesia."

"Blindness, maybe?"

"An especially debilitating case of erectile dysfunction?" Gary suggested, earning glares from Alanna and Jonathan and laughs from everyone else.

Eventually, they agreed on full paralysis after being thrown from her horse during a rockslide on an uphill trek. That way, no one would think it odd that they never saw her around, and she could believably recover from it, though healing magic was not always powerful enough to fix such an injury.

Far too quickly, they reached Trebond.

When darkness had fallen, Jonathan carried Alanna while she hung limply in his arms, fully concealed in a cloak.

Alanna's reunion with Coram was an emotional one as they told him everything.

Jonathan put his royal seal on a summons for Thom, and Coram sent it off with their swiftest messenger.

Finally, Alanna and Jonathan were alone together for the last time before Jonathan had to leave for Corus.

"You'll tell George?" Alanna asked.

"As soon as I can," Jonathan replied. "Maybe he can think of something."

"Gods, Alanna," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "I hate this so much."

"This isn't the end, Jon, just a different direction than we planned. I'll find a way back to you."

Jonathan held her for a long moment, then kissed her mouth quickly but firmly.

"I'm holding you to that," he said and left her alone with her thoughts.


	2. The Third Choice

Alanna spent three days in hiding, discussing her options with Coram, Faithful, and Maude, who had initially helped Thom and Alanna orchestrate their switch. Nothing seemed especially appealing.

On the fourth day, Alanna received a welcome surprise when George rode in. After some difficulty convincing Coram to let him through the door, he burst in and embraced Alanna.

"Well, Lass, you're not dead on some battlefield, so I'll count my blessings."

"I've missed you!" Alanna replied. "You have no idea how good it is to see you!"

She sighed deeply and motioned for him to take a seat next to her. "Did Jon tell you everything?"

"He did. Have you made any decisions about what you'll do next?"

"None," Alanna said.

"Well, I've come up with three options for you," George said brightly.

"The first," he continued, taking her hand and looking warmly into her eyes, "is for you to wed-"

"No!" Alanna said, pulling her hand back. "Don't you dare ask me to marry you!"

George recoiled as if slapped, and the hurt was evident on his face.

"Oh, no, goddess, no, I didn't mean it like that," she said, putting a hand on his arm. "It's just that you would be the fourth man to offer to marry me this week. Jonathan, Raoul, even Myles hinted that he would marry me if I got desperate. I don't mean to sound ungrateful to you or any of them, but marriage can't be my only hope for a future."

George softened. "The difference, Lass, is that they offered to marry you because they're nobles, and that's the only way they know how to help a lady. They wanted to do you a kindness. I was askin' for purely selfish reasons. But, we'll take that option off the table _for now_."

She rolled her eyes but smiled gratefully at him all the same.

"The second option," he began with a too-wide grin.

"Nothing illegal."

"Ah, well then, you'll just have to choose the third. Come back to the city as mother's apprentice."

* * *

George left the same day, sensing that Coram may not tolerate him as an overnight visitor. Alanna was sad to see him go, but now she had a plan that would allow her to see him again soon.

Thom arrived the next day, as did a courier from the palace with the few belongings she had left there.

"Well, the ruse lasted five years. That's five years longer than I thought it would," Thom remarked as they sat together in what had been Alanna's childhood bedroom. "I am sorry. I spent the first three years expecting just this news, but as soon as the Prince accepted you…Bah! What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you would keep lying for me," Alanna responded. "Just a slightly different lie this time."

* * *

"So I'm supposed to say that you're stuck paralyzed in this very room while in reality, you'll be an apprentice healer to the thief's mother in Corus, all the while keeping an eye on your prince and hoping against hope for an opportunity to convince the king to take you back?"

"Yes."

"I like it. You're following in my magical footsteps after all. You know you'll be giving up the advantages of being a noble?"

"At least for a time, yes. I don't see this being permanent."

"What will you call yourself?"

Alanna thought for a moment and then smiled, "Annabella."

"Hmmm...that may be a little too noble sounding."

"Just 'Ella' then. Ella...Smythesson," she said with a sudden inspiration. "I'll be Coram's niece or something. That way, it won't be odd if we correspond or he comes to visit."

"That… should work. Come here and turn around."

Alanna sneezed several times as Thom began stroking her hair. When he was done, he walked her over to a mirror.

Her previously flaming red hair was now a deep chestnut, the same shade as Coram's.

"It's an illusion spell," Thom explained. "You can undo it with your gift anytime you want."

"It's perfect," Alanna said, switching her hair color from brown to red several times in quick succession.

"Well, Alanna, Alan, Ella, whoever you are, you do know what day it is, don't you?"

"May the 10th," she said with a sad smile.

"Happy sixteenth birthday, sister mine!" he said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "At least it will be a memorable one."

"Happy sixteenth birthday, brother dear!" she replied. "I hope all of your future birthdays are far less memorable than this one."

* * *

Along with her things, the pack from the palace contained a box full of the almond cakes she and Jonathan had often complained of missing while they were away from the palace.

That night she had a quiet birthday celebration with her twin, her cat, and the two people who had raised her. She had loved ones, almond cakes, and a plan. Suddenly the future didn't seem so hopeless after all.

* * *

Alanna's first month back in the city was a whirlwind. Not only did she have a lot to learn about healing, but she also had everything to learn about being a commoner and a girl.

She couldn't have asked for a better guide than Eleni and quickly found in her the mother figure that she didn't realize she had been missing. For her part, Eleni found Alanna a great help with her work and an ongoing source of amusement as the girl found the most mundane things new and exciting.

The freedom was something Alanna was unused to as well. One week in, Eleni had to explain to Alanna that as long as she finished the work she had agreed to, she didn't need to keep asking for permission to go out.

At first, Alanna occupied her new-found free time by wandering the market and building up her previously non-existent female wardrobe. When that got old, she found herself spending more and more time at the Dancing Dove. That was an education all its own.

She had spent time there before, of course, but this was different. She was one of them now and a woman. The other women gossiped with her, and the men flirted with her with varying degrees of lewdness. Alanna reacted to such attention at first with disgust mixed with a little bit of relief - it was nice to know that she was, in fact, desirable. But she soon learned how to deflect these comments or tune them out. Much to her own surprise, she even flirted back or gave tit for tat on a few occasions.

However, the more inappropriate of the comments dropped off quickly as George made it clear that she was his personal favorite. He always made sure there was a seat for her next to his and went out of his way to see that she was entertained. He also began flirting with her more and more brazenly. Before long, she went from tolerating it to enjoying it.

The healing itself ended up being more of an adjustment than Alanna had anticipated. She thought her time aiding the battlefield medics would have prepared her for the gruesome things she would encounter, and it helped, but not entirely.

As a city healer, she encountered not just wounds but infections and illnesses in everyone, from babies to the elderly. Some of these were disgusting or exhausting, but the worst were downright heartbreaking as she saw too-thin children in pain and watched Eleni tell women that they had miscarried their babes.

Aside from these bitter moments, she quickly learned to enjoy the work. It was incredible to see the intricate things her gift could do, and it was deeply satisfying when most of her patients left feeling much better than they had when they arrived. It was not quite as satisfying as charging into danger to save her prince, of course, but she did feel useful, which raised her spirits significantly.

She saw Jonathan frequently in that first month. Gary and Raoul had been sent on border patrols as soon as they returned, and the rest of the army was still camped at the Drell as the peace was carefully negotiated. Jonathan was bored out of his mind.

"How are you?" he asked her somberly as they wandered through the market together three weeks after her return.

"Exhausted!" Alanna responded. "I think every ten-year-old boy in a five-mile radius decided today was the day to climb too high or run too fast. I think I healed no less than six broken bones!"

Jonathan smiled weakly at that. "I mean, how are you doing with...everything?"

"Honestly, I'm alright. I mean, I still wake up most mornings hoping against hope that this was all a bad dream and that I was still your squire, but there's no sense in continuing to mope about it. I like healing, far more than I thought I would. And I don't... hate living life as a girl. There's something very freeing about learning that."

Jonathan tried to look happy at this response, but his eyes revealed how conflicted he felt.

"Please don't feel sorry for me and stop feeling guilty!" Alanna pleaded. "Look, I'm your vassal, and I always will be. And I know you feel responsible for me. But for now, can we just be like - like you and George? Friends who spend time with each other just because they want to?"

Jon sighed. "Not feeling guilty may take some time, but you're right. Moping won't change anything. Friends it is."

"Good. Now tell me some fun and flippant palace gossip, or I shall be forced to regale you with a detailed account of Mr. Tanner's toenail infection."

Jonathan laughed and obliged her with a tale about some of the few remaining eligible bachelors at the palace literally hiding from a gaggle of over-eager new arrivals from the convent.

* * *

A few nights later, Alanna was walking back to Eleni's from the Dove when two drunken men that she vaguely recognized appeared from around a corner.

"Well, if it isn't His Majesty's pet," one said.

"I bet we could find some good use for 'er," said the other. "He might be more willin' to give us a real share of last night's haul with a little...persuasion."

Alanna considered pointing out that there was no way taking her would gain them anything good from George, but they were clearly too drunk and angry to be reasonable.

She wished desperately for Lightning but drew the knife she carried in her belt and considered her options.

"Oh, look, she's going to fight us off with that wee blade. Why don't you just give me that, little whore, and no one will get hurt."

He reached to take the knife from her, and she slashed the side of his hand. The cut wasn't deep, but it shocked him, then further enraged him. He charged at her, this time managing to grab a handful of her hair and grip it painfully before he tried again to take the knife. Alanna twisted and jabbed up hard, slicing his tricep.

He let go to clunch his wounded arm, and his companion was too shocked by what he had just seen to do anything but gawk.

Alanna took the opportunity and ran. She had been about halfway home, but she didn't want to lead these goons to Eleni's doorstep. Instead, she ran back to the Dove, managing to stay just barely ahead of the men who eventually pulled themselves together enough to draw their own blades and chase after her.

Their wits finally kicked in as they realized where she was leading them. At first, they chased her that much harder, then gave up and ran the other way when the Dancing Dove came into view.

Alanna burst through the door into the still busy tavern. George got up immediately, took one look at her panting and the bloody knife still clutched in her hand, and asked in a dangerously quiet voice, "Who?"

"Two men," Alanna said between gasps. "They were in here earlier. One big and blond, the other medium with dark hair. Said they wanted to use 'His Majesty's pet' as leverage to get a bigger cut of some job."

"Did you see which way they went?"

Alanna pointed.

"Stay here," George commanded. He then nodded to three of his men, and they all raced out the door.

The four men returned less than ten minutes later, carrying a small bag that looked about the size of two ears. Alanna decided not to ask.

"I'm getting rusty," Alanna lamented as George walked her home. "And I need to figure out how to carry more than just that belt knife."

"I think those two men would disagree about your level of rustiness."

"Will you train with me again, like you did when I was a page? Teach me how to be more effective with knives?"

George flashed her a wolfish grin. "'T'would be my pleasure."

They walked in silence for a little while before George asked softly, "They called you my 'pet,' did they?"

Alanna nodded slowly.

"I'll lay off if you want. I'm sure you hate that. And tonight, it put you in danger."

They had reached the wall outside Eleni's home. Alanna leaned against it and looked up at George. "I can handle some danger. And I don't like the name - I am no one's 'pet!' - but I don't want you to lay off," she admitted softly.

George raised one eyebrow in an invitation for her to continue.

"Don't make me say more than that," she pleaded.

"Oh, I have every intention of makin' you say more, Lass."

"Fine." She put a hand haughtily on her hip as she had seen the other women doing when they wanted to make a point and looked into his laughing hazel eyes. "This whole situation is strange and wrong, and I should hate it, but I don't. I'm not ready for anything serious, but I like being able to spend so much time with you. I like being your favorite, and I like it when you flirt with me. Are you happy now?"

"Positively giddy." He leaned down and kissed her warmly.

Alanna responded in kind but broke it off before it could progress to anything more.

"Goodnight," Alanna said when she pulled away. "I'm going to hold you to your word about training me."

George gave her a low bow and then disappeared into the night.


	3. An Element of Truth

Three mornings a week, George and Alanna got up early to train together in Eleni's courtyard. Soon Jonathan began joining them whenever he could. Jonathan and Alanna grew much more adept with knives and helped George with his sword work in turn.

Alanna sought out Rispah to help with her armaments issue. Rispah was George's cousin and one of the few people to whom Alanna had revealed her true identity, and the older woman was more than happy to assist. They began to make a game of seeing how many weapons they could conceal in standard women's wear, and soon both had quite the collection. They started with arm and leg sheaths that could be adjusted based on sleeve and hemline lengths. Their next additions were razor-sharp hairpins, although these had to be tinkered with and handled with great care to avoid highly unfortunate haircuts. Cloaks with hidden pockets turned out to be the most versatile.

The crowning piece was a decorative corset that used knives instead of boning. The center blade wasn't quite large enough to be called a sword, but it was a full foot long, and the hilt looked convincingly like a decorative bauble that rested between the wearer's breasts. The seamstress they enlisted was quite taken aback, but she wouldn't turn down good coin, even for such a strange request.

George's appreciative whistle when he first saw Alanna wearing it told her she had done well. His admiration only grew when she showed him the blades it concealed within.

George continued to insist on escorting her home when she left the Dove late at night, but now that she was both better armed and better trained, she felt much more confident in her ability to defend herself against any such further attacks.

* * *

A little over a month after her own return to the city, the rest of the army came back from the Drell River Valley after signing the peace treaty. Not three days after their return, she found Myles at Eleni's door asking for Ella.

"Can I help you, sir?" Alanna asked feebly, unsure of what to expect.

He smiled broadly at her. "Please don't be nervous. Jon told me you'd be here. I'm not sure I would have recognized you otherwise!"

Seeing Alanna smile in response, Eleni invited him in for tea.

His visits for tea became a weekly ritual. He always brought news of what was happening in both the court and the wider world. He also asked her about the goings-on she observed in the city and helped her make sense of how it all fit into the bigger picture of the kingdom. Alanna later confided to Jon that she was genuinely unsure if this was just what he liked talking about or if he was surreptitiously continuing her noble's education. Either way, she immensely enjoyed their time together and looked forward to it every week.

* * *

One morning in early fall, Alanna examined a patient who complained of severe pain in his foot. Nothing looked out of place, either to the naked eye or when she probed it with her gift. The ember stone she wore around her neck, a gift from the goddess two years back, had fallen out from under her dress as she bent to do the examination, and now she tapped it in frustration.

As she tapped, she noticed some odd green flickers. Confused, she grabbed the ember stone and saw that the foot glowed with a consistent green light.

Alanna turned to Eleni, still gripping the ember stone, and was instantly enthralled by the smooth flow of warm reddish light that flowed from Eleni's fingers to the little girl she was presently treating. She let go of the ember stone, and the light vanished.

She used her gift to probe the man's foot again, this time looking for something other than the common ailments. There it was, or at least, there was something. This was beyond her ability.

She got Eleni's attention and explained that the ailment seemed magical. Eleni then did some complex magic and concluded that Alanna was right.

"Someone is working an evil sort of sorcery on you," Eleni explained to the man. "To really solve this problem, you need to go to the source, and that's something I cannot help you with. I can give a charm that helps ward against such things. It should dull the pain for a time, but that's not enough. I assume you know who holds you such ill will?"

The man nodded resignedly.

"I suggest you take care of that."

Alanna rubbed the ember stone in wonder as the man thanked them and left.

She saw Jon and George at the Dancing Dove two nights later and explained what had happened. They immediately began experimenting. It didn't work for either of the men, only Alanna. But when she held the stone, she could clearly see whatever magic Jonathan used, no matter how covert he tried to keep it. She asked George to use his sight, but he explained that it didn't work that way, and she couldn't see a thing from him.

Alanna asked Jonathan if he would help her study up on harmful magic like what she had seen in her patient, and he began sneaking her books from the palace library that she poured over regularly. _Thom would be proud_ , she thought as she read through the third such volume.

One morning, Jonathan showed up to train with her while George was delayed. When Jon and Alanna sparred, the prince hit with excessive ferocity as if trying to channel his frustration through the sword.

"What's bothering you, Jon?" Alanna asked when they paused for water.

"Is it that obvious?"

Alanna nodded emphatically.

"Delia," Jonathan explained. "Everything was great, amazing even. And then last night, we were at a party, and she completely ignored me. She does this sometimes, and I don't understand it. I swear I will never understand women."

"Women aren't your problem. Delia is."

Jonathan shook his head. "This is just how women behave. When I asked Roger, he told me the same."

"No. It isn't," Alanna said heatedly. "And you should stop putting so much faith in Roger."

"Oh, don't act so affronted. Don't think I don't see the way you are with George, flirting with him, kissing him - I saw you sitting on his lap the other day - but I know you aren't serious about him."

"I'm sure I frustrate George in all sorts of ways," Alanna snapped, "but I've always been honest with him."

Jonathan raised his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean," she said with a smile that eased some of the mounting tension.

"I mean about my feelings for him and my level of openness to a relationship. If he keeps pursuing me anyway, that's his choice. I still don't know what I want on that front, but I won't choose lightly whatever I choose. That's where you and I are alike. We don't do anything halfway. If we decide someone is worthy of our friendship or something more, it means something. That's not how Delia operates."

"You're an expert on courting rituals now then?"

"Jon, she's toying with you," Alanna said bluntly. "She was toying with you when I was still your squire. She gave me the attention that she did because she enjoyed how it irked you. And she was hot and cold to you back then too. I don't understand court games, but I recognize cruelty when I see it. I was afraid to say anything back then because she's such a volatile subject with you, but goddess curse me if I don't tell it to you straight now: she doesn't love you, she loves having the power to mess with you. Any other girl in that palace would be happy to have your attentions. Don't waste your time on that...wench who cares only for herself!"

"Any girl? Present company included?"

"Don't start that. You're the heir. Find a girl to pursue who would be good for the realm. That certainly isn't Delia, but it would be hard to find a worse choice than a disgraced-former-squire-turned-pretend-commoner."

Jonathan started to respond, but Alanna changed the subject. "I am serious about not trusting Roger."

Jonathan sighed. "I haven't quite forgiven him for the way he turned on you, and he still won't teach me any real magic. I'm far better served by books than by the most powerful sorcerer in the land," Jonathan complained. "But why do you say that?"

Alanna relayed her strangely blunt conversation with the Duke just before she was kidnapped in which they agreed that they were not friends and didn't have the same goals for Alanna's friends.

Jonathan took the news quietly.

As he was processing, a bell chimed in the hour, and they turned to go their separate ways.

Alanna stepped inside to find George leaning on a door frame just inside. "How much did you hear?" Alanna asked.

"Enough to know that any damage to my poor crooked heart is my own fault, but I'm not going to lose you to tall, dark, and royal."

Alanna smiled up at him. "You're tall, dark, and royal too."

George laughed. "I suppose I am."

"Well, if you're not going to make yourself useful on the practice field, you can at least help me get the supplies ready for patients."

George gave her the mocking bow he seemed very fond of giving her and followed her in.

He stayed with her all morning as she worked on cleaning and restocking supplies. It was midweek, meaning she had her weekly tea with Myles that day. She saw the knight ride in as she looked through the window in the second-floor supply room but was suddenly distracted when she knocked over a precariously placed bowl of herbs.

George teased her as he helped her clean it up. A full fifteen minutes went by before Alanna remembered that Myles was there.

"That's strange," she told George. "I thought Mistress Eleni would have come to fetch me right after he arrived."

She and George crept quietly out of the room and over to the stairs to investigate. Myles was indeed standing in the entryway, talking animatedly with a giggling Eleni.

George raised an eyebrow at Alanna, and she just shrugged and tried to make out what they were saying.

This suddenly proved easier than expected when Eleni called out, "Stop lurking, you two!"

They both went downstairs, and Eleni performed a quick introduction, "This is my son, George. He was helping us out today."

Myles started to offer his hand in greeting, then paused, looking from George to Alanna, "George...Cooper then."

"At your service," George responded with forced casualness.

This time Myles did offer his hand for a handshake, which George accepted. "Am I right in assuming that you're the man responsible for giving us that vital intel about the Tusaine plans at the Drell?"

George froze, and Alanna jumped in quickly, "It's alright, George, he's the only one I told, besides Jon. He helped me conceal my source."

"And you gave my full name?" He couldn't help asking while still studying Myles.

"No, I figured that part out on my own. I'm afraid I have a perhaps overbearing level of curiosity about the forces that shape our world, of which you are one, if I don't miss my guess. Forgive my forthrightness. Will you both join us for tea?"

Once they were all settled and had engaged in some far less personal conversation, Myles asked George, "How well networked are you with the rogues of other countries? Do you regularly receive news?"

Again George paused and gave Myles a searching look.

"You must forgive me again. I wouldn't use any such information against you, but your hesitance is, of course, understandable. Perhaps I should give you something incriminating about myself first."

He smiled at Alanna. "I've known you were a girl since you were eleven."

"What!?" Alanna asked, choking slightly on your tea.

"I meant to tell you before this, but the timing was never right. When you healed Prince Jonathan from the sweating sickness, there was a moment when you were into some deep magic that you spoke to Jonathan in a distinctly female voice. After that, I made some subtle inquiries about Lord Alan's children."

"And you didn't tell anyone?" Alanna asked.

"And get my favorite page kicked out? Of course not! Especially when you had just saved our otherwise doomed prince."

He gave Alanna a fond smile, and seeing her blush, he turned to George. "That would make me highly unpopular with the king if it were ever to get out. I know it's not quite the same thing, but I would love to hear anything that you are comfortable sharing. And so long as you have no plans to harm their majesties, I hold nothing but gratitude for you for your information about the Drell and for your mother's care for one of my favorite people."

"The Lass speaks very highly of you, My Lord, and knowing that you've kept her secret, how could I refuse?"

Alanna realized how little she knew about George's world as the two men talked, and their time together was over far too quickly for any of their likings. George and Myles clearly already liked and respected each other, and the invitation was extended for George to attend their tea any time he wanted.

* * *

One night in November, Alanna was sitting with two other women admiring Rispah's beautiful new bracelet that doubled as a full set of lock-picks when a couple of thieves burst in covered in blood. Apparently, a pair of dogs did not take kindly to their master's home being invaded. Alanna got to work immediately, stopping the bleeding and patching them up the best she could.

On her next visit to the Dancing Dove, a young woman she sometimes joked with timidly asked her about an infection she had been too embarrassed to seek help for. Not twenty minutes later, a middle-aged man asked her about remedies for an old injury that never healed properly. Three more such requests followed those. A week later, a trio of young men asked if she would stay at the Dove late, just in case their job went awry.

"Not that I mind the company," George said as the midnight hour struck, "but you don't need to do this. You aren't officially a part of the Court of the Rogue, and these aren't trivial favors."

"They need the help, and I can give it," Alanna replied simply.

"Soon, everyone is going to be askin' for your help, at this rate. Your gift has its limits, which you, Mistress, are very bad at accepting. You can't say 'yes' to everyone."

Alanna considered for a moment. "Maybe if I just make myself available at predetermined times then?"

At George's skeptical look, Alanna continued quietly, "Let me do this for you, for your people. You've done so much for me for so long, and all I do is bring you more trouble."

George sat thoughtfully for a moment, gently running his hand through her hair. "Set a time then. We'll draw up a contract, and I'll pay you for it."

He put a hand over her mouth to stop her protests. "It'll make it easier to set boundaries and navigate the politics of it." He grinned at her. "And I promise to pay you far less than you're worth. Deal?"

She smiled and shook his hand. "Deal."

Alanna was drowsing on George's shoulder when the thieves finally arrived, fortunately, all in one piece. They thanked her for waiting and offered her a stolen necklace in gratitude, which she declined. They handed George his portion and dashed off to celebrate their ill-gotten gains.

"Time to get you home," George said with a yawn.

Alanna looked out into the chilly night and then back at her warm companion.

"Could I stay here tonight...with you?" She asked timidly. "We're training tomorrow morning anyway, so it wouldn't make sense for you to make the trip twice."

George brightened considerably. "As you wish, m'lady."

* * *

Myles continued his weekly tea times with Alanna, but she wondered if she was really his main reason for visiting anymore. She made a point of being far from the door when Myles was soon to arrive, and she noticed that Eleni always found an excuse to be near it. Alanna enjoyed watching their growing affection for one another, even though they still made a pretense of mere politeness whenever anyone else was present.

George was only an occasional attendee at their teas, but when he was able to join, the two men clearly enjoyed each other's company immensely.

"About 7 in 10 of the entries in my ledgers are actually quite accurate," George was explaining in response to Myles' question. "Every time I sell something, I record the sale just as it happened. And I don't just acquire things the illegal way. I've come to have a good eye for what things are worth, so when I see a bargain, I buy it and make a profit the old fashioned way. Much like I did with your Moonlight," he said with a wink for Alanna. "The best lies have an element of truth. And the local authorities are far less likely to be suspicious when you're good for a handsome tax payment when they come collectin'."

"Except that you took quite a loss on Moonlight," Alanna pointed out. "It took me a couple of years to realize it, but there's no way you got her for less than twenty gold nobles, and you only charged me ten."

George grinned. "On the contrary, that ended up being one of my most valuable dealings. Yes, she did cost me more than ten, but Jonathan gave me a ring with one of the finest sapphires I've ever seen to cover the rest of her price and Darkness's. That ring was worth at least another horse besides."

"How did I not know that?" Alanna mused.

"You were too busy admirin' the mare. And I don't think Jon wanted you to know. Don't tell him I told you."

Alanna was still processing this when Myles chuckled. "You know, there's a new political philosopher that refers to taxation as 'legalized plunder.' By his logic, I suppose your cut as rogue would also be considered a form of plunder. Institutionalized plunder, perhaps."

George grinned. "So what you're saying is when I pay taxes to the magistrate, he's plundering me on the plunder I plundered from plunderers?"

"Exactly."

The two men laughed heartily as Alanna just shook her head.

* * *

Soon Alanna had her first night of being officially employed as a healer to those sealed to the rogue. She and George agreed that she would be available to any who needed it for a few hours on the first day of every week and present to help after dangerous jobs when George deemed it necessary.

Like the first time, her second time waiting for a dangerous job to be complete was mercifully uneventful - just one deep scratch from a broken shard of glass that needed to be stitched.

"Could I stay here again?" Alanna asked George when she was done.

He nodded. "Let me finish settling up with these lads, and I'll meet you upstairs."

The last time, she and George had been truly exhausted and had immediately gone to sleep with Faithful curled up between them. This night wasn't nearly as late, and the cat was nowhere to be seen.

George came up shortly and leaned on the door frame to study her as she sat on his bed. "So, Mistress, is tonight to be another friendly sleepover where you cruelly test my self-control? Or did you have something else in mind?"

He saw deep conflict in her eyes when she finally met his gaze. "I had something else in mind, but I'm scared."

He sat down beside her, "And here I thought you were fearless."

"If only that were true."

"Tell me," he said gently.

"My father lost a piece of himself when he lost my mother. I don't believe I ever saw him whole. I promised myself once that I would never love a man because it would never be worth the loss.

Nothing about my life now is what I expected, and my future is uncertain enough. But your life is constantly in danger. One wrong step would be enough for someone to kill you. Loving you is a terrifying prospect."

He nodded in understanding as she continued, "But, gods curse you, George Cooper, you're hard to resist, and I don't think I want to resist you anymore."

"Is Alanna the heartless considering giving love a chance?"

She made a face at him. "Yes, you unprincipled pickpocket, I'm considering it. But I'm still not ready for... bah! Love is such a confusing word! It means too many things. I'm not ready for _that_ kind of love, the forever kind, but I think I'm ready for the...other, less serious kind. Does that make sense?"

"I think so." He stroked her hair thoughtfully for a moment before taking her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "I want _that_ kind of love from you, Alanna, no matter how uncertain the future may be. But as I've told you before, I'm a patient man. For now, I'm content to take what you're willing to give. More than content, in fact," he added with a grin. "I won't push farther than you're willing to go."

She gave him a sincere look of gratitude before returning his grin. She slid into his lap and looped her arms around his neck. "Alright then, King of Thieves, I'm yours. Do your worst."

"As my lady commands."

* * *

Alanna very quickly decided that she preferred Geoge's warm bed to her own and spent the night with him every excuse she got. For his part, George had never been happier.

Jonathan was more distant than usual during their training session the first time he saw them arrive together at Eleni's early in the morning, but he didn't seem surprised.

All was well until one morning in January. While working for Eleni, Alanna opened the door to find Duke Roger standing on the threshold.

"Welcome," she said, raising her voice an octave and praying she didn't sound like herself. "Please come in."

He followed her in, studying her intently.

"What can I help you with today?" She asked, as cheerily as she could.

He smirked and continued to appraise her. "You've already helped me a great deal. I wondered why my cousin was sneaking off to the city early in the morning so often. Now I know."

He lifted a lock of her brown hair and examined it. "This is good work. I wouldn't have recognized you had I only been passing you on the street."

"I'm not sure what you mean, my Lord," Alanna said in her still falsely high voice.

"I thought we were done playing games with each other, Alan. You were quite blunt at our last meeting. Or, what is your real name again?"

"Ella," she said stubbornly, but back in her typical pitch. "Last time I was blunt with you, I ended up being captured not more than an hour later."

The Duke continued to smirk. "Quite the unfortunate coincidence, that."

"What are you doing here?" Alanna asked flatly.

"Just what I said. I wanted to see what my cousin was up to, leaving so early and then coming back looking flushed all those mornings. I was expecting a girl. There had to be some reason he had stopped...well, I admit, I wasn't expecting you. You are attractive enough, though, dressed as you should be. And I suppose you never were one to go quietly."

"I just couldn't stand being so far away from you," she said with mock sweetness.

"Ha! I have to give you credit - I pride myself on being very rarely surprised, and you've managed to surprise me more times than I care to admit. I'll have to make a point of not letting it happen again. So what is it you and my cousin get up to here?"

"Sparring, my Lord."

" _Sparring_. Is that what the young people are calling it these days?"

Alanna shrugged, "It's what a knight typically does with his squire, isn't it?"

"Poor Squire Alan," Roger taunted. "You made it so far only for a torn shirt to give you away. You know, my offer of friendship stands. I'm impressed in spite of myself, and I can still give you everything you want in exchange for a few favors."

"My answer hasn't changed," Alanna said coldly.

"Pity. Well, let me know if you decide you want to be more than just a common healer and the Prince's 'sparring' partner."

"Pigs might fly."

"Good day to you then."

Alanna sat down heavily in a chair. Her time as a squire may be over. Her tangle with the Duke was not.


	4. What More Could You Want?

"Roger apparently paid a visit to Alanna," Jonathan said to Myles as they sat in the chapel facing the Chamber of the Ordeal.

Myles's eyes widened. "How did he find her?"

"He followed me," Jonathan said flatly. "He saw fit to tell me that I should stop wasting my time and move on, and that if I was so desperate for female companionship, Delia was a much more suitable choice."

"Charming. Do you think he'll tell the King?"

Jonathan shook his head. "Father already knows."

"You're full of surprises for me today. Do tell."

"A couple of months ago, he asked me what she was doing now, and I thought it best to tell him the truth. He just sighed and told me not to do anything foolish."

"You don't think he will do anything, do you?"

"No, she isn't technically doing anything wrong, and he does like to keep the peace. I think he also realizes that having her around is keeping me from becoming completely insufferable."

Myles laughed.

"I'm serious, though," Jonathan continued. "And Father was very sad to send her away. After everything we've been through, I think my parents thought of her as my very capable bodyguard almost more than as my squire. And he realizes what a blow it was to me to lose her. So Roger can say what he likes. It won't matter."

"Is training going well?" Myles asked.

"It is. I wish she was still working with Uncle Gareth, but she's so unbelievable fast as it is! And the things George is teaching her - teaching both of us - are invaluable for survival, if not for chivalrous duels."

"George is an impressive young man. I'm glad you have friends beyond these walls. That will surely serve you well when you assume the throne."

Jonathan nodded. "Indeed. How is your side of things going with her? Or are you too distracted by her new mistress?"

Myles smiled, "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. But I must concede, Eleni is a big improvement over Alanna's former master."

"You mean her _first_ master. I haven't released her from her vow, and she hasn't broken it."

"Forgive me, Highness. Yes, Eleni is a big improvement over Alanna's _first_ master."

"Better," Jonathan said with a grin.

Myles sighed, "Yes, I do find Eleni quite delightful, but I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize Alanna's situation. We'll see what happens down the road. As to Alanna, she's doing well. If her fighting is as good as you say, I believe she's on track to be as prepared as anyone to become a knight. Healing is certainly a valuable skill that too few knights develop. Now she just needs the opportunity."

Jonathan studied the Chamber of the Ordeal thoughtfully. "Could we just sneak her into the Chamber? Its magic can't be impacted by anything, right?"

"I don't think that would be wise," Myles responded." Defying the will of the sovereign might violate the code the Chamber operates by. I don't think there's any way around it: she needs the approval of this king; otherwise, she'll have to wait for the next one."

Jonathan huffed in frustration, and then the two men sat in silence staring at the forbidding door before them.

* * *

"Mayhap you should take him up on his offer," George mused to Alanna when she told him about Roger's visit. "See what you can learn about what he's up to."

Alanna shook her head. "I don't have your gift for subtlety. I'd never be able to pull off the deception. And I don't think he'll cause trouble for me, at least not yet. I'm information that he can use. He won't throw that away unless it's to his advantage."

"Let's run away, just you and me," George said. "We can find a deserted beach somewhere in the Copper Isles where we can live on pineapples and coconuts with no more dukes or plots to worry about."

Alanna smiled. "I would be bored in the first ten minutes. You'd be bored in five."

"Oh, I think we could keep each other occupied for longer than that," George said suggestively.

Alanna rolled her eyes.

"And it'd be warm year-round," George wheedled.

"You should have led with that. When do we leave?"

Eleni interrupted their fantasy with a letter for Alanna that had just arrived from Coram.

"What is it?" George asked after watching Alanna's changing expressions as she read the letter.

"This 'wolf winter' has hit Trebond hard. It's so cold that the wolves have gotten extremely bold. Coram says they've brought everyone into the keep until the danger is passed. And then there's this:"

She began to read aloud:

_Lord Alan shows no improvement and continues to refuse visitors besides me, Maude, and his doting sister. I do worry about Lady Alanna. Perhaps she should stop hiding away and playing nurse and work on preparing to find a place in the world worthy of her station. She is a stubborn lass, that one._

_Alan did get one caller of note - his old rival Ralon of Malven showed up and wanted to see him. Wanted to gloat is more like it. I do find it strange that the lad is bitter enough to have made the trip. Naturally, I turned him away._

_Your loving uncle,_

_Coram_

George shook his head. "He's right about one thing, you are a stubborn lass."

"I'm not that stubborn. In fact, I think I'll take his advice. A warm forgotten beach in the Copper Isles is a place in the world worthy of my station, right?"

"I'm sure that's just what he meant," George responded with a grin.

* * *

The cold weather put a damper on their morning workouts in Eleni's courtyard, but George continued to make the trek three times a week, and Jonathan usually managed to make it at least once. On this particular day, they decided they could work on drawing hidden knives quickly while still indoors, enjoying the warmth of Eleni's hearth. This was mostly for Alanna's benefit, but Jonathan played along gamely.

He wore his midwinter gift from Alanna - a leather wrist sheath that Alanna and Rispah had dreamt up and commissioned while growing their own arsenals. It was black leather with gold accents and was fine enough to wear ornamentally. However, it was certainly functional, and George, as his own gift, had provided a pair of matching blades for it that were as deadly as they were attractive.

George helped Jon and Alanna drill repeatedly until they could smoothly draw from both wrist and ankle sheaths without accidentally slicing themselves.

Jonathan eventually bid them farewell to go take part in one of that winter's many wolf hunts.

* * *

The three were reunited two days later at the Dancing Dove while Alanna made herself available for healing. Alanna saw Jonathan enter with a bandage on his arm and motioned him over immediately, much to the chagrin of a young thief who had been waiting.

"What happened?" she asked as she reached for the bandage and began undoing it.

"Wolf bite. Roger already tended to it. You don't need -" Alanna already had the bandage off and was examining the wound before he could finish his protest.

Alanna sniffed it and looked closely. "How much does it hurt?"

"More than I expected, but-"

"It's started to fester. Hold still. This will sting."

She disinfected the wound with strong alcohol before reaching for her gift and applying it carefully. "Any better?" She asked as she gently wrapped his arm in a fresh bandage.

"Much. Thank you," he said, testing the full movement of the arm.

"I want to hear the whole story, but I have a few more people to help. Catch up with you in a bit?"

Jon nodded and ambled toward the bar as Alanna beckoned to the now very impatient thief.

* * *

"The wolf jumped out from behind a tree," the Prince described animatedly. "Don't me ask how anything that large was able to hide, but he managed it. There were at least six men around me, but he lunged straight for me. He sunk his jaws into my arm and pulled me off of my horse. Luckily, I was still wearing that wrist sheath. I wouldn't have been able to get to any other weapon in time. I sunk the blade into his eye as he went for my throat. That slowed him down long enough for about ten men to sink arrows into him and for Raoul to plunge a sword into his side. I'm fortunate to just have the bite."

"To Johnny the Wolf-Slayer!" George toasted.

Others from around the room raised a glass and cheered at this, although they hadn't heard Jonathan's tale.

Jonathan laughed. "Wolf-survivor is probably the most generous description I deserve."

The Prince finally noticed that Alanna looked pale and miserable. He put a hand over hers and smiled, "I'm sure if I had my squire with me, he would have saved me in some fantastic fashion, but I did alright on my own and with the other men. And you, dear Ella, still managed to save my arm from further damage."

Alanna didn't look happy, but this placated her some. "You said Roger did the initial bandage?" she asked, suddenly remembering his earlier words.

"He insisted on treating me on the spot. He bandaged my arm and put healing magic on it. I guess he didn't do a good job of it, did he? I supposed that's a hazard of doing magic in the field."

Alanna nodded but didn't look reassured.

* * *

_Dearest Alanna,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I'm very pleased to tell you that I have officially passed the written exams for Mastery. All that remains now is the oral exams and the Ordeal of Mastery. If all goes according to plan, I will be done by midwinter. I plan to come to Court immediately after, as you asked._

_I am formally requesting you to join me. Coram keeps pestering me about finding you opportunities to live as a noble, and I think he may be right. You should at least give it a try._

_I thought we could be officially presented to the Court together as brother and sister when I arrive, and you can experience what it's like being Lady Alanna for a little while. If you hate it, you can always leave, but it would be nice to spend some time together after so many years apart._

_All my love,_

_Thom_

Alanna read the letter then handed it to George, who had delivered it to her moments before. He read it and then refolded it carefully, his face revealing nothing.

"Do you think I should do it?" Alanna asked quietly.

He studied her carefully for a moment before answering, "I think you should give up on being a noble, wed me- no," he said as Alanna would have interrupted. "You asked my opinion, so you're going to get it. You should fully embrace your life as Ella, wed with me, and become a great healer in your own right. Otherwise, you're going to keep makin' yourself miserable wishin' for a life that isn't coming back."

Alanna sat silently, considering. "I'm not ready to close that door yet."

"You can't stay split between two worlds forever, Lass."

"I know, I know. I just need more time to figure things out."

* * *

"I think it's an excellent idea," Jonathan said. "There is much more to being a noblewoman than clothes and courtships, and I'm sure your brother wouldn't force you to go to all the balls and parties the way I did."

"You really were the worst that way," Alanna said matter-of-factly.

"And I make no apologies. All part of the unparalleled delights of being my squire," he said with a grin. "But seriously, you may find it's not quite so awful as you imagine, and it would be good to have you back in the palace. I'll do what I can to help you prepare if that's what you decide."

"Prepare?"

"The proper curtsies, dancing like a girl, how to dress for different occasions, that sort of thing."

"Are you an expert in proper curtsies now?"

"No," Jonathan said with a smile, "but I can get you books of etiquette, and I can help you practice dancing as the follower."

"I hadn't considered that," Alanna said grimly. "Maybe I should just join the thieves. They have far less etiquette to observe."

"Nonsense. They have their own rules, only they don't write them down in helpful books. Don't let this deter you - you really should at least see what it's like before you write it off."

* * *

"Why can't you just skip straight to whatever it is you wanted to be doing in the first place?" Rispah asked as she braided an extremely sharp metal comb into Alanna's hair. "Do you need someone's permission to go off and do great deeds and serve your Prince?"

"I need the credibility," Alanna explained. "If I'm a knight, it means the Crown trusts me, so other people will trust me too. If I'm just a heavily armed woman traveling alone...I don't know what people will think, but it won't be positive. It's hard to do great deeds and help people if I have to spend all my time convincing them that I'm not completely mad, dangerous, or both."

"Aren't you, though?" Rispah asked with a grin as she finished the braid.

Alanna grabbed the braid gingerly and was pleased to find that the comb's spikes concealed within prevented her from getting a good hold. "I'm mad, certainly. Dangerous, when necessary. That's why I need all the help I can get."

Rispah laughed, "Well if all else fails, I think you and I could have a very bright future in the novelty weapons business."

Alanna looked at her hair in the mirror and was pleased to see no trace of the comb. "You aren't wrong," she said with a smile.

* * *

A week later, Alanna was helping a young woman at the Dancing Dove with a sprained ankle.

"Are knives actually helpful?" The girl asked as she noticed Alanna's arm sheath peeking out from under her sleeve. "I heard that a male attacker can easily get the knife away from you, and then he has a knife, and you're worse off than when you started."

"That certainly can be true. You have to know what you're doing and be willing to do it - cutting through flesh at close range is not for the faint of heart. George has been teaching me how to use them effectively, though."

"You're so lucky," the girl sighed, then winced as Alanna readjusted the ankle. "His Majesty really is the full package, isn't he? He's smart and funny, rich obviously, and treats people well as long as they play by the rules. I mean, he isn't much to look at, not like his friend Johnny. But Johnny's out of our league. You can just tell he's loaded, and with that face, I'm sure his family is trying to get him wed to some noblewoman whose family needs the money. That's gotta be why he spends so much time with those knights. But a girl can dream, right?"

Alanna just smiled as she finished applying her gift to the ankle. Then she glanced over at George, who caught her looking and winked.

"Ugh, see what I mean? What more could you want?"


	5. A History of Clean Linens

A month later, Alanna was no closer to a decision about whether or not to join Thom at the palace when Myles came with some bad news. The Queen was quite ill. Jonathan didn't come to their training sessions after that, and Myles explained that the Prince spent much of his time at his Mother's bedside.

Alanna started writing encouraging notes or sending small gifts back with Myles when he left their teas, hoping to lift Jonathan's spirits. He rarely sent a reply, but Myles encouraged her to continue, saying he believed Jonathan looked forward to them each week. Eleni quipped that they would make a gentlewoman of her yet if she had mastered the art of such genteel letter writing.

Three months later, Jonathan finally returned to the city and called on her one afternoon at Eleni's.

"Mother is not doing well. Every once in a while, she'll have a few good days, but then she relapses. Baird has been able to help ease the symptoms, but the cause seems to baffle him."

"I'm so sorry," Alanna said. "I wish there was something I could do."

"That's what I came to see you about. Will you see if there's anything you can do for her?"

"I've seen what Duke Baird is capable of," Alanna replied. "He's far, far ahead of me when it comes to healing. I don't know what I could do that he wouldn't have already done."

"You healed me," Jon said quietly. "When no one else could."

"That's because the sweating sickness drained all of the other healers, and even then, the gods did...something to help us."

"Then maybe they'll help again."

Alanna looked at the desperation in her Prince's eyes. "If you can get me to her, I'll do my best, but it's unlikely I can do anything."

"Thank you! I'll figure out the details of getting you to her, but thank you!"

Alanna watched him go, chewing her lip worriedly.

* * *

Three days later, Alanna met Jon at a side entrance to the palace late at night, wearing a maid's uniform that Jonathan had pilfered for her. She carried a stack of linens, and Jon led her to the Queen's bedside without anyone batting an eye.

The Queen was sleeping fitfully. Alanna started by using some of her gift to draw the Queen into a deeper sleep to ensure she wouldn't wake. Alanna examined her with her gift and saw signs of symptoms but not a cause. She probed a little deeper, but still nothing. Finally, she stepped back and gripped the ember stone as she tried to think of something else to do.

Suddenly the Queen glowed a pale orange all over with a bit of purple around her temples. Alanna stole a glance and Jonathan, who didn't appear to have noticed anything. She let go of the ember stone, and the glow disappeared. She tried this experiment three times over, and every time, the ember stone revealed the same orange glow along with her own purple-colored sleeping spell. She quietly signaled to Jonathan that it was time to go.

* * *

Two days later, Alanna, Jonathan, Myles, and George sat around Eleni's kitchen table.

"I'm sure it's magic. There's no other explanation. And I know what I saw," Alanna said.

"What color is Baird's gift?" Jonathan asked. "Maybe it was some kind of healing spell left on her."

"Dark green," Alanna responded. "I saw it many times at the Drell."

"One of the healers in his crew then?" Jonathan ventured.

"Stop ignoring' what's right in front of you," George said. "Who do you know has orange magic?"

"Roger wouldn't do this," Jon said definitely.

"She is one of three people standing between him and the throne," Myles said reasonably.

"So he has an orange gift and a possible motive. That's hardly significant evidence," Jon shot back.

"Then let's weigh what else we know," Alanna said gently. "You've heard the speculation that the sweating sickness seemed unnatural, and the last person to become ill was also one of the three people in line for the throne. Then he dared you to go after the Ysandir, and it's a miracle that we survived."

Jonathan set his jaw as Alanna continued, "I told you about my conversation with him right before I was captured by the Tusaines."

"And he was only too pleased to be rid of Alan, your most ardent protector," Myles added.

"That's still not hard evidence," Jonathan insisted.

"No, he's too smart for that," Alanna agreed. "But are you willing to let us look for evidence, at least?"

Jonathan looked at the set faces of his companions before he relented. "What did you have in mind?

* * *

Jonathan sat nervously in a council meeting with his father, Duke Roger, and twenty of the other highest-ranking officials in the land to discuss a dizzying agenda of issues facing the kingdom. Jonathan tried to pay attention, but his thoughts were with the expedition on the other side of the palace.

Alanna was dressed in the same maid's outfit she had used before with the same stack of linens. George wore a palace man-at-arms uniform that he already owned (Jonathan and Alanna decided not to ask why). Myles led them through the halls giving an animated lecture about the history and significance of clean linens. If anyone did pay attention to George and Alanna, it was only to give them sympathetic looks as they appeared trapped by the eccentric nobleman. Faithful trailed along at a distance.

When they reached Duke Roger's room, Myles picked up Faithful, walked a little ways away, and immediately appeared absorbed in telling the cat about the historical importance of cats in religious literature.

George tried a lockpick but instantly dropped it as it turned white-hot and melted. Alanna gave the next try, forcing her gift in and exploring Roger's spell on the lock. She staggered a little with the effort, and George braced her against him while trying the lock again. This time it opened easily under his expert hands.

Once inside, they quickly found what must be the door to his workroom.

"This one may be spelled even more strongly," Alanna whispered.

"Just the lock and door, or the hinges too?" George asked.

Alanna grabbed the ember stone. "Just the door and lock."

"I love it when they make that mistake," George said and immediately set to work popping the hinges.

The thick, heavily spelled padlock kept the door from falling off entirely as George and Alanna entered the room.

* * *

Myles continued his loud lecture on linen history as he led George and Alanna right past the room where the council meeting was being held. Jonathan recognized the signal and slipped out quietly. The lords barely noticed his exit as they debated using treasury funds for sanitation infrastructure.

"You should see it for yourself," Alanna said quietly as Jon walked past them. "The doors are unlocked."

"Sir Myles, might I take that maid from you?" Jonathan asked. "I suddenly find myself in dire need of clean linens."

"Of course, your Highness," Myles said.

* * *

"You know what it is, don't you?" Alanna asked as she and Jonathan looked at the fountain in Roger's workroom with a half worn-away doll resembling the Queen just next to it.

Jonathan nodded.

"There's this too," Alanna said as she gently unwrapped a package containing several other wax figures.

Jonathan felt so many things click into place as he stared at his own image in wax form.

He blew out a long breath. "Thank you for this. Can you get out on your own?"

She nodded, then hugged Jonathan fiercely. "I'm so sorry, Jon. I know you loved him."

"I love Mother more." He returned the hug and handed her her stack of linens.

"Good luck," she said, then left him alone to do what needed to be done.

* * *

Jon took a deep breath before walking back into the meeting of noblemen. He walked straight to his father, set the items he carried carefully before him, and then stood at attention.

The room quieted immediately as they all noticed Jonathan's antics.

"What is this, Jonathan?" Roald demanded.

Jonathan stood and spoke loudly and clearly, "I have discovered a grave crime against my Mother, the Queen, and our family. I have just returned from Duke Roger's rooms where I found this figure of Mother under steadily flowing water, and these figures wrapped in a veil."

He unwrapped a small package to reveal wax figures of himself, King Roald, Duke Gareth, Sir Myles, and the Provost.

"Will you explain how this magic works, Your Grace, or should I?" Jonathan asked, turning to his cousin. "Shall I tell them how the fountain in your workroom slowly wears away her life while you kept those who could stop you blind to your machinations?"

"This is outrageous!" Roger sputtered. "Prince Jonathan, surely you are deceived, and this is all an elaborate ploy against me!"

Duke Gareth yelped suddenly after pinching the arm of his wax likeness. "These are no fabrications!" he cried.

"Lord Provost," Jonathan said, "would you and your men investigate the Duke's workroom?"

The Lord Provost got up and bowed to Jonathan and the King.

Duke Roger looked for a friendly face and, finding none declared, "I demand my rights! I demand a trial by combat, myself against my accuser."

Roald grew immediately angry. "The future rulership of this kingdom will not be determined by such a contest!"

The King glanced over at Gareth, who gave a slight nod.

"You may have the combat, but you will face my Champion, not my son."

Roger paled. He was good, but Gareth was better. He searched for an excuse or a way out, but no ideas came. He set his jaw and responded, "Very well. My success will prove my innocence."

"The combat shall take place tomorrow at noon in the Great Hall," the King declared.

The Provost returned just then with gift-suppressing manacles for the Duke. Roger was indignant, and the King started to stop the Provost, but the Provost held firm.

"Your Majesty, we will leave the Duke the run of his chambers, but if what the Prince says is true, you cannot give him free rein to get up to new tricks in the night."

The King still didn't look happy, so Jonathan spoke up, "I concur with the Lord Provost. And for that matter, he must remain in a gift-suppressing manacle for the duel."

"I am not to be unfairly disadvantaged!" the Duke snapped.

"I consent to wear a manacle as well," Gareth said placidly.

"Then it is decided," the King said.

* * *

George and Alanna decided they probably could sneak in to watch, but it would be wiser not to.

"Either way, we've won," Alanna told George as they sat in a pub near the palace. "Even if Roger kills Duke Gareth, they'll never fully trust him again. It will be awful if Gareth loses, though. He's a good man."

They didn't have long to wait. Not twenty minutes after the noon bell, Myles burst into the tavern. As soon as he spotted them, he shouted, "Gareth won! Roger is dead."

The whole tavern immediately pressed him for details, and he found himself recounting the five-minute-long duel for everyone present. "They're both master swordsmen, but it's true what they say about Gareth. Roger was far more aggressive, but Gareth waited patiently for his chance, and when he saw it, his cut was so smooth, I almost missed it. Right through the stomach. One minute the Conte Duke was the picture of health, and the next a bloody, lifeless mess on the floor."

When the other patrons finally left him alone, Myles joined them for a drink.

"To Sir Gareth and his sword!" Alanna toasted.

"To Alanna and her wits and George and his tricks!" Myles said, raising his own tankard.

"To the vital historical significance of clean linens!" George finished.

They clinked glasses and spent a very jovial hour reveling in the demise of the Duke.

* * *

"Father won't change his mind," Jonathan fumed. "He says he's grateful for your part in saving Mother and unearthing Roger's treachery, but he isn't happy with our methods. When I asked if he would have let us go forward if I had asked permission, he was silent. He knows full well we had no choice in our methods! Finally, he told me that my loyalty to you was admirable but misguided and that no matter how impressive you are, he won't change his mind."

"Thank you for trying, Jon," Alanna said sadly.

"You've saved me and now Mother. You revealed high treason. You're worth ten of any other knight we have!" Jonathan said as he paced.

"That she is," George agreed.

Finally, Jonathan stopped pacing and sat next to Alanna. "Come to Court with your brother. Maybe we can figure out something if you're already there. Maybe not your shield yet, but something."

"Alright, I will."

"Good. I have to get back. There's so much happening now with Roger gone, but I had to tell you. I'll come back to see you when I can."

He swept out of the room, leaving George and Alanna alone.

"Just like that, you're going?" George demanded.

"I guess so," Alanna replied.

"Months of agonizing, and Jon says one word, and you snap to a decision?"

"Yes. _Prince_ Jonathan, who I have sworn my life and obedience to on multiple occasions, gave me an order, so I'll obey. I thought you knew that's how this works."

"And so you'll go back into that den of pretenders who can't even appreciate you when you save their Queen?" George demanded. "My people appreciate you when you haven't don't half so much for them. Choose me, Alanna. Choose the future that I can offer you."

Alanna looked at the floor. "It isn't just Jonathan. I had already decided to go back to the palace." She looked up at him and continued, "I'm so tired of lying about who I am. That 'den of pretenders' is the only place where I can stop pretending. But that doesn't mean that I'm giving you up."

George shook his head. "So I'll be your kept thief on the side."

"That isn't fair, and you know it!" Alanna shot back. "Nothing needs to change between us. I don't want it to!"

"It will, no matter what your intentions. You know it as well as I."

"I love you, George," Alanna whispered. "That still terrifies me, but I love you. And I'm fully willing to do what it takes to make this work. I'm just not willing to give up who I am or the vows I've made to Jonathan."

George looked at her, torn between clinging to anger and accepting the gift she had just offered him.

"Lass," he said, finally taking her into his arms, "I'm yours, no matter how difficult you make it for me."

"I'm yours, too. I have to be Jonathan's first, but that doesn't mean I'm not yours."


	6. Dancing, Dresses, and Disappointment

Alanna wrote to her brother, and they solidified their plans to move into the palace just after her former cohort of squires became knights. They could have moved in before that, but Alanna didn't want to put herself through that particular form of torture.

True to his word, Jonathan did whatever he could to help her prepare for the transition. He started attending tea with Myles, and the two men and Eleni flipped through etiquette books and helped Alanna absorb what the books instructed.

Jonathan insisted that he help Alanna practice dancing as a girl. Myles and Eleni quickly joined the lessons by dancing alongside them. "For moral support," they said by way of excuse. They fooled no one.

Alanna was still not a good dancer and retraining herself to learn all of the steps backward was awkward and frustrating. But her lessons with Jonathan also allowed her to realize that she didn't hate dancing itself; she had hated the lie inherent in it when she was disguised as a boy. Of course, part of her resented that the man always led, but another part of her enjoyed the push and pull and the feeling of twirling in a skirt. And Jonathan's strong arms were far preferable to those of a dainty, flirtatious noblewoman.

Rispah tried to help Alanna shop for a more noble wardrobe, but the two women kept getting sidetracked by potential new weapon-concealing accessories. After the third such trip, when Alanna came home with no dresses but a fluffy scarf that could hide a full dagger, Eleni intervened.

She called a tailor she knew personally and had her come to the house. Eleni also asked Myles to join "since he had seen the new trends most recently." Alanna tried hard to pretend that she didn't see right through the ruse - she thought Myles would barely notice if all the ladies started showing up to balls dressed in burlap sacks!

Before the tailor arrived, Eleni told Alanna to change her hair back to red. Eleni introduced Alanna as "Lady Alanna of Trebond" and explained that she was good friends with one of Alanna's maids at Trebond and had agreed to help the girl get a peek at the city and build her wardrobe before she was formally presented.

Being addressed as "Your Ladyship" and wearing silk dresses hit Alanna hard. It finally sunk in that this was real, and there was no turning back. She was voluntarily entering the life she had worked so hard to escape. No, that wasn't true, she realized. This would be on her terms, at least partially. She was making her own choices, not being dangled by her father in front of noblemen like a fresh-caught fish at the market.

Alanna was resistant at first, but soon the tailor and her companions convinced her to get a full wardrobe of lady's dresses and a few pairs of soft breeches. Pants of any kind would still be considered inappropriate, but they were better than the men's pants she might have worn otherwise. When Alanna tried to reject some of the costlier items, Myles insisted on buying them for her. She tried to fight on this point too, but again she was defeated.

* * *

George had changed after their conversation about Alanna leaving. He became even more ardent in his attentions and went far out of his way to make her happy. Alanna thought that perhaps this was his way of making up for their fight, but he also had an air of apprehension that he tried and failed to hide.

Alanna tried just to enjoy their time together, but she couldn't help but be concerned. He never brought up her leaving, so she didn't bring it up either. He didn't come to tea with Myles anymore, and he was careful to avoid Eleni's home except for their morning training sessions.

One morning, Alanna, Jonathan, and Myles were sipping tea after they had finished a particularly unproductive thirty minutes of practicing curtsies. Jonathan and Myles had tried the various curtsies along with her, and it was hard to say who had done worse. None of them would pass for a princess anytime soon, but they all got a good laugh out of the exercise.

"What should I do about Alan?" Alanna asked at a lull in the conversation.

"I suppose your options are to keep up the stories about his condition or to say that he died," Myles said.

"Dead would be more convenient. Then we wouldn't have to explain why we never visit our poor paralyzed brother," Alanna said.

"How about this?" Jonathan said, finally. "A few weeks before you're planning to come to Court, I'll get a letter saying that Alan is deathly ill. Then I'll take Gary and Raoul with me to see him. We'll pick you up along the way. Myles, you're invited too, of course, and George if he wants. We'll spend a few days in Trebond, and then we'll come back saying that Alan has tragically passed and that we convinced his lovely sister to come to Court. Then you'll spend a couple of weeks at Trebond and come back with Thom as planned."

Alanna nodded slowly. "I like it."

"I appreciate the invitation," Myles replied, "but I'll let you young people have your fun without an old man dragging you down. It's a good plan, though."

* * *

Midwinter came and went far too swiftly. Before long, Alanna was sitting in George's room for the last time before giving up her life as she knew it. George had told her that he couldn't join their trip to Trebond because of his responsibilities at home, so tonight was goodbye, at least for a few weeks.

George had gone all out with a romantic meal in his chambers with a very satisfying stretch in his bed to follow.

"I'll take you home tonight," George said after a long, comfortable stretch of resting in each other's arms. "I know you have an early morning tomorrow."

Alanna looked like she would protest, but George put a hand over her mouth. "No arguments."

When they reached Eleni's home, George followed her inside and sat down with her in the kitchen, where they shared some tea after their chilly walk home.

"I have business I need to take care of in Port Caynn," George said slowly. "I leave next week."

"Well, then we both picked an unpleasant time of year to travel. When will you be back?" Alanna asked.

"I'm not sure," George responded.

"I'll be gone three weeks. You'll be back before then, right?"

"No. I'll be gone much longer," he said matter-of-factly.

"George, what are you trying to tell me?" Alanna asked.

"I'm letting you go."

"What!?" Alanna practically shrieked.

"Shhhh, don't wake Mother." George put a finger over her lips and continued, "You need to go figure out whatever it is that needs figurin'. Go be Lady Alanna fully, without anything holding you back."

"George, no, that's not-"

"It's not up for discussion, Lass. Go with no attachments. Try bein' Jonathan's girl if you want."

"What-"

"He's clearly been waiting for his chance, and we both know you have a hard time refusin' him anything."

Alanna was visibly angry now, but George still wouldn't let her speak, now clamping both hands over her mouth.

"Go to that palace, Alanna. Learn that you don't belong there, that those people will never accept you and don't deserve you. And then when you finally figure all of that out, come back to me."

When he had finished, he uncovered her mouth, and she stared at him, frozen with so many warring emotions.

"Damn you. Damn you!" She finally managed.

He leaned down and kissed her deeply, willing her to understand how much he loved her despite what he was doing. Then he got up and walked out the door.


	7. Introducing Lady Alanna of Trebond

Despite the gnawing ache left by George's absence and the January cold, the trip to Trebond was a pleasant one for Alanna. She had seen her other friends at the Dancing Dove from time to time, but they didn't quite know how to interact with her as Ella.

Now they relaxed, made jokes, and teased her about what a terrible lady she would make in one breath and then threatened grand romantic gestures with the next.

"You know I am still good with a sword," she threatened back. "And my brother may just be the most powerful sorcerer in the land."

"I am dying to fence with you again," Raoul said, completely missing the point of her threat. "Think we'll be able to manage that at the palace?"

"We'll have to take her on long, romantic rides to the heart of the forest so that we can pound each other in privacy," Gary said.

The others chortled. Alanna just shook her head and repeated, "Realm's most powerful sorcerer."

"Mithros, this feels right," Jonathan said as they approached the inn where they planned to spend the first night. "Having you back by my side and talking openly about who you are. I'm glad you decided to give this a chance."

She smiled up at him. "So, I've come of age, but I haven't taken the Ordeal. Does that mean I'm still your squire? Shall I care for your horse when we get to the inn, Highness?"

Jonathan sighed dramatically. "I suppose you've graduated, even if you skipped your final exam. I'll just have to learn to do my own chores."

"I hear it builds character," Alanna replied.

Jonathan laughed. "We'll have to figure out a good way to slip out and visit George at the same time. I suppose you'll have to have Thom escort you. I would, of course, but I'm not sure if you want the gossip about slipping off to the lower city with the Prince."

"That won't be an issue," Alanna said. "He's leaving the city for a long time."

"That's unexpected. Did he say why?"

"Officially, rogue business. Unofficially, he wants to give me space to figure out whatever it is I need to figure out," Alanna said flatly.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I know you two were...are...close."

"Were. With that particular type of closeness, anyway."

"I am sorry, Alanna. That's never easy."

"Thanks," she replied, and they slipped into silence.

Jonathan kept a carefully concerned look on his face while she remained close, but as her horse started to outpace his, he couldn't resist a broad smile.

* * *

Once at Trebond, Raoul had the idea for a mock funeral for Alan. It started out silly but became quite sweet as they recounted their favorite memories of their time together. It also provided a kind of closure that Alanna hadn't realized that she had needed. Pretending to be someone else was in the past. It was time to embrace life as Lady Alanna.

Their three-day visit was over quickly, and their parting was much happier than the last time they had left her at Trebond to return to the palace.

Alanna spent her first week talking with Coram and the man he was preparing to be Trebond's steward after him. Coram had told him the truth, and the man understood that continuing the story about Alan's death was an essential part of his duties.

Even disguised as Ella, Alanna managed Trebond from afar and made important decisions while Thom studied. Now that the siblings would finally be together, they could make decisions jointly, but Alanna had a sneaking suspicion that the hard choices would still fall to her.

The next week Thom returned, and they enjoyed ten days of calm before embarking on their new life.

* * *

Alanna's heart was beating too fast. She just wanted this over with. She had known this trial would come, but she still felt unprepared.

Finally, the herald called loudly, "Master Lord Thom of Trebond and his sister Lady Alanna of Trebond."

They walked arm-in-arm down the staircase as the entire Court looked on. Alanna's eyes locked on Jon's. She tried not to stare at him, but his reassuring look kept her eyes from drifting to the King's. Finally, they reached the bottom of the stairs. The mourning black the twins wore made their already vibrant hair and stand out that much starker. If Alanna had been less nervous herself, she might have realized that Jonathan was trying just as hard not to stare at her as she was at him.

Thom bowed low, and Alanna curtsied deeply. She still hadn't managed the other ladies' level of poise, but at least her practice with Jon and Myles kept her from embarrassing herself.

"Welcome to my Court, Master Lord Thom and Lady Alanna. We congratulate you on your impressive achievement of Mastery at such a young age, Lord Thom, and offer you both our sincerest condolences for the loss of your brother."

The King addressed Thom, but Alanna couldn't help but notice that his eyes flicked to her when he said "sincerest."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Thom said simply, then led Alanna into the crowd.

When the formal production was done, and the dancing began, Jonathan came straight to them.

"Lord Thom, it is an honor to finally meet you. I heard so much about you from Alan."

"The honor is all mine, Highness. Thank you for everything you did for my brother," Thom responded with deep sincerity.

Jonathan smiled sadly, still looking at Thom. "I only wish I had been able to do more."

"Your Highness, this is my sister Alanna. I am overjoyed that she decided to leave Trebond and accompany me here."

Jonathan kissed Alanna's hand and gave her his most charming smile. "Would you care to dance, Lady Alanna?"

Alanna did her best to give the appropriate curtsy and look demure. Then she followed him onto the dance floor.

"Not so bad, was it?" He asked warmly as he spun her gently close to where the musicians played so that they would not be overheard.

"It's odd," she responded as Jonathan pulled her in close. "I thought this was my chance to finally be honest, but it's just a more complicated set of lies."

Jonathan let go of her, and they danced across from each other before coming back together.

"Like just now," Alanna continued, "Your introduction to Thom was real." Jonathan gave her a twist so that they were dancing next to each other with arms intertwined. "Then what you said to each other was true but with a hidden meaning." He pulled her back in to face him. "And then we all pretended like I was just meeting you for the first time."

"That will pass soon enough," Jonathan promised as the music slowed and their steps slowed to match. "And you're doing just fine as a lady. Your curtsy wasn't quite as refined as mine would have been…" He flashed her a grin.

"That's just it!" Alanna responded. "As Alan, I would have rolled my eyes and shoved you a bit after a remark like that, and no one would have thought anything of it. But now I need to play the part of the demure young lady wonderstruck by your attention."

"Perhaps it's good for you to learn to be less violent then. And, of course, you're wonderstruck by me."

Alanna looked up at him, batted her eyelashes, and said in a high, breathy voice, "Oh, Prince Jonathan, you're the worst."

Jonathan laughed and pulled her softly to the left when her old muscle memory had started to lead her to the right. "We need to keep up the lie about Alan, but you don't need to act the way people expect you to." He spun her while keeping her close and explained, "You probably shouldn't start shoving me, but no need to feign shyness."

He dipped her gently as the song ended. "I, for one, like a girl with some pluck."

He walked her back to where Thom was standing just as Duke Gareth appeared next to them.

This was a meeting Alanna had been dreading. Duke Gareth was one of the men she respected most in the world, but he was a stickler for the rules. She hadn't seen him since before the Drell, but Jon had told her that the Duke was one of the few to whom he had told the truth.

"Lord Thom, Lady Alanna, it is a pleasure to meet you both," the Duke greeted.

Alanna nearly forgot herself and began to bow before Jon's light press on her shoulder reminded her to curtsy.

"Your brother was one of the most skilled young...people I had the chance to train," he said stiffly. "I was very sorry to hear the news. Despite the circumstance, I will always be grateful that he saved my nephew's life," he said, putting a hand on Jon's shoulder. Then he dropped his voice to whisper, "and the life of my sister."

Alanna's eyes went wide. She hadn't realized he knew _that_. "My brother thought very highly of you, Your Grace," Alanna replied. "I doubt he would have accomplished any of what he did without your guidance, and I'm sure he regrets any trouble he caused you."

"We have heard of your heroics after the Conte Duke's treachery was revealed," Thom added. "It is truly an honor to meet such an impressive defender of the Crown."

"He was a sight to behold!" Jonathan agreed, clapping his uncle on the back.

"It is good to see- meet you both," the Duke said, still clearly uncomfortable, and walked off.

Noticing the tears starting to form in Alanna's eyes, Jonathan whisked her back to the dance floor, letting her keep her face hidden against his broad chest.

When that dance was done, Jonathan made a great show of introducing Thom and Alanna to all of 'Alan's' closest friends, and they mercifully monopolized most of her time for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Two days later, she was already bored. She missed healing, but she couldn't go back to Eleni now. Perhaps it was time to find a new healer to serve under.

Alanna arrived at the palace infirmary and found Duke Baird. "My name is Alanna of Trebond, and I've only just arrived at the palace," she said while performing what she hoped was the appropriate curtsy. "May I speak with you, Your Grace?"

He ushered her into his office and gestured her to a seat opposite his.

"Your Grace-" she began.

"I tried to come to you, you know," he said, cutting her off. "Prince Jonathan's squire was gravely injured, and King Roald wouldn't let me help. I was livid. So he told me the truth."

"My past appears to be a far worse kept secret than I realized," Alanna replied.

"Gareth informed me about your involvement with the Queen as well. If Prince Jonathan had asked, I would have let you see her. I don't know how I feel about the matter of your deception, but as a healer, I have to be a pragmatist. All that is to say, whatever you came to see me about, you may speak freely."

"Thank you, Your Grace," Alanna began. "Last time I was feeling useless, you put me to work. I'm hoping I can ask for the same favor again. And what you may not know, or at this rate maybe you do, is that I have a lot more training and experience than I did two years ago."

"I think that could be arranged," the Duke replied. "Tell me more about what you've been up to."

It was not unheard of noble ladies to serve other nobles or the people of their fiefs as healers. The gift was too rare and valuable to be wasted. Baird asked many probing questions about her work as a healer and gave her a few small skill tests. At last, he told her to come back the following morning when he would have figured out how he could put her to good use.

* * *

"I'd like to have you with me four mornings a week," the Duke explained. "I could use the help when we have multiple patients, and I'd like to keep you with me when we don't. Your brother is proof of the great things your gift is capable of, and I wish to train you further on how to use it."

"That sounds perfect, Your Grace," said Alanna, genuinely excited about the opportunity.

"And I think you should keep seeing the two patients that you've already tended."

"Your Grace?" Alanna questioned.

"Since the Queen's illness, I've had a standing check-up with her three times a week. These are nothing serious, just monitoring her vitals and giving her an energy boost when she needs it. While I am honored to serve her, her health has been stable, and my talents can be better used elsewhere. I haven't had anyone I felt comfortable delegating this to, but as a noble lady, you're well suited to it."

"Does her majesty _know_ about me?" Alanna asked timidly.

"I'm not quite sure what she knows. You'd have to ask Prince Jonathan, who, as it happens, is your second patient."

"Is he ill?" Alanna asked worriedly.

"No," Baird said with a smile. "But King Roald ordered weekly check-ups for both of them after Queen Lianne's illness. Jonathan hasn't been rude, exactly, to my man who attends him, but he clearly thinks the check-ups are a waste of time. He often arrives late or rushes the examination. I'm wondering if he might be more accomodating to a different healer."

* * *

Three days later, Alanna knocked gently on Jonathan's door, healer's kit in hand.

The Prince opened it while heaving an aggravated sigh. He stopped mid-sigh when he saw who his visitor was. "Lady Alanna," he said. "You're not who I was expecting."

"I am, actually," Alanna replied. "May I come in? I'm here to perform your weekly health exam."

Jonathan grinned and opened the door wider to admit her.

Duke Baird was indeed correct; Jonathan was a much more willing patient for Alanna. When the exam was done, she stayed and chatted with him, sitting in the same spots they used to occupy when she was his squire.

"Mithros, it's good to have you back," Jonathan said an hour after the ten-minute exam was complete. "I forgot how much I missed just having you here to talk to."

He picked up his boots and started putting them on. "I'm afraid I have an audience with a Carthaki ambassador that I must attend now. But tell Baird I was a good boy."

"I will," Alanna agreed. "But before you go - I'll also be attending to your mother. What does she know about me?"

"Father tells her everything, and she's been well lately, thanks to you, so I assume she knows everything he does." Seeing her face, he added, "Don't look so afraid. If nothing else, she knows you saved me from the sweating sickness. She'll like you for that reason alone."

"I'm not sure if that's more pressure or less."

He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and headed for the door.

"Good day, Your Highness," Alanna said, dropping into a low curtsy.

"Perfect," Jonathan said appraisingly. "You must have had an excellent teacher."


	8. Life as a Lady

Alanna's first visit with the Queen was abrupt and businesslike. She entered the room, curtsied, exchanged the proper greetings, examined the Queen, and left.

On her second visit, the Queen seemed more prepared for her. "We aren't strangers, are we?" She asked as Alanna entered.

"No, Your Majesty. We spoke several times while I was His Highness's squire," Alanna said, opting for blunt honesty.

"I remember. My son was quite fond of you - only it's hard to reconcile the lady I see before me with the young boy glued to Jonathan's side."

"I fear I often have the same struggle," Alanna said with a smile.

They went back to speaking only when necessary for the examination until Alanna began packing up her things to leave.

"Everything appears to be as it should be, Your Majesty."

"Thank you," Lianne said quietly. "I understand I have you to thank for that."

"Along with your son and Sir Myles," Alanna responded meekly.

"I've already thanked them," the Queen replied. "It is to you I still owe my gratitude."

"It is an honor to serve my queen and the mother of my prince," Alanna said quietly as she curtsied, then left.

* * *

The next day, Jonathan appeared at the door of the rooms she shared with Thom, asking to speak with both of them.

"I was hoping for a favor, Lord Thom."

"Name it, Highness."

"I've been looking for more advanced training with my gift, but so far, it has been tricky. I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn that my late cousin was not the most forth-coming teacher."

Thom smirked. "I'm sure he wasn't. I'll admit that I have little experience instructing others, but I'll do what I can. What is it you wish to learn?"

"Battle magic or shielding I can do from afar. I charge into battle at the head of my troops, but then I'm quickly surrounded by my men, and I'm afraid I become rather useless in the heat of the battle. I'd like to change that."

Thom nodded, clearly already caught up in his own thoughts about what his own power could do in such a situation.

"Alanna, I'd like you to join us," Jonathan continued. "I know you're becoming quite advanced in healing, but you might as well learn this sort of thing too."

Even before she had become his squire, Alanna had learned to interpret the slight tonal shifts that Jonathan used to indicate whether such a statement was simply a suggestion or a royal command. This time it was the latter. (He had used the request tone when he had told her to come to the palace, but George didn't need to know that).

Alanna still felt some residual squeamishness at using her gift in such a way, especially when she had become used to seeing it as the power to preserve life, not take it. But her old instincts of swift obedience to Jon kicked in, and she merely nodded in acquiescence.

"Excellent idea," Thom agreed. "We can talk things over here, but we'll likely need to go a ways away from the palace for safety if you want to get any real practice in."

Alanna perked up significantly at this. "If we're already somewhere isolated, we can spar as well! And no one will ask questions about why you're bringing a healer along when you're off to practice dangerous magic."

"Splendid," Jonathan agreed. "We'll start tomorrow."

* * *

The Court quickly got used to seeing Jonathan spending his free time with the Lord and Lady of Trebond, either in their rooms or off on long rides together. Various members of Jonathan's circle regularly joined these rides, and if they never made the journey without their swords, no one thought anything of it.

Thom did teach them magic, but they were not so studious as they might have appeared. Thom quickly learned that Jonathan and his friends were partially just seeking his sister's company. Occasionally he joined in their leisure or watched their sparring, but more often, he found it easy enough to get absorbed in his own pursuits and ignore the others.

However, Thom didn't miss how the Prince would sit closer to Alanna than he needed to and found excuses to touch her more often than was entirely proper. But Thom didn't do anything to stop it. Alanna appeared to be enjoying it. And there were worse things than being the most powerful sorcerer in the land and twin to royalty.

* * *

Alanna wasn't quite sure how, but Thom and Jon convinced her to attend another formal gathering after the first hadn't been a total misery. This one was a party. The last one had been a ball. Alanna realized that she couldn't articulate the difference between the two, despite her years at the palace.

It took Alanna less than five minutes to regret her attendance when the first person who greeted them was none other than Delia of Eldorne.

"Lady Alanna, isn't it?" The girl greeted enthusiastically. "I used to dance with your brother Alan. I was distraught to hear the news - he was such a delight. But come, get a glass of punch with me. We must get to know each other!"

Alanna was too shocked to do anything but follow.

Delia occasionally asked her a question to which she gave short responses, but mostly the girl talked about herself, the palace, and the eligible men.

Alanna had to take a very large gulp of her drink to prevent herself from reacting when Delia informed her, "The Prince is the ultimate prize, of course, but I would avoid him if I were you. He plays games and drops girls as easily as he picks them up."

Finally, she turned to Alanna and asked, "So...tell me about your brother. Is he really as powerful as they say? Does he have his eye on anyone yet?"

"He is that powerful," Alanna said, "but he was also shut up in the cloisters for a very long time. Not very sociable. I doubt he'd be your type."

"Ooh, well, we noble ladies must be charitable, right? Maybe he just needs the right guide into court life." With this, Delia hooked a hand through Alanna's arm and practically dragged her towards her brother. "You must introduce me."

Agan, feeling trapped, Alanna did as she was told. "Thom, this is Lady Delia. Lady Delia, Lord Thom."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Your sister and I were just having the most lovely conversation." She presented her hand for a kiss, and Alanna was horrified to see the same look on Thom's face that she had seen on her friends' faces when they first met Delia.

"I would love to hear more about your magical studies!" Delia gushed.

"You wouldn't understand them," Thom said, love-struck, but still Thom.

Alanna could see Delia's annoyance at that response, but she covered it with a giggle. "I'm sure you're right. Perhaps we should dance? Then I'm sure we can find something in common."

She swept Thom off to the dance floor, and Alanna soon found herself presented with a steady stream of dance partners. She figured this was just because she was new and different. Surely they would see her bad dancing and tire of her soon.

A few other women tried to strike up conversations with her, but she gave them short if polite replies, and they gave up quickly. She looked to her old friends for company, and, Delia aside, the night was, again, not completely awful.

* * *

Healing with Duke Baird was an education all its own. The wounds and illnesses tended to be much milder than what she had seen in the lower city. She mainly dealt with injuries gained on the practice courts or the typical ailments that came with aging.

Alanna was relieved to find that there was rarely anything unusually disgusting or heartbreaking to tend with. Still, a part of her also felt torn as she watched Duke Baird use his incredible skill. She was glad this man was here if Jonathan ever needed him, but she couldn't shake the melancholy feeling when she saw the people with the least need have access to the best care. That was just how life worked, but she didn't have to like it.

Baird helped her feel and understand the make-up of the human body in a way that she never had before. This knowledge enabled her to heal with intention and precision instead of the sloppier sort of bust of healing magic that she first learned to use.

The palace also started to feel friendlier as she began to recognize people from her interactions with them as Alanna, not Alan. A noblewoman who she had previously thought of as the-girl-whose-shoe-heal-I-broke-with-my-poor-dancing became Jonetta-whose-sprained-ankle-I-healed. And older courtiers who hadn't given her a second look before now smiled in gratitude when they passed her in the halls as they flexed previously aching joints.

* * *

The following morning, she went off in search of Myles. It was what had been their weekly tea time, and Alanna wanted to restart the ritual.

She found his study empty except for a maid who was tidying up. _Poor girl_ , Alanna thought, but the girl appeared unphased by the disheveled room.

"Have you seen Sir Myles?" Alanna asked.

"No, your Ladyship, but he's gone for a few hours every week at this time."

 _Interesting_ , Alanna thought as she left the room.

Later that evening, she found him in the great hall at dinner.

"I came looking for you today, wondering if you might want to resume our weekly tea time, but it seems you never stopped."

Myles smiled at her. "You just can't get a decent cup of tea in the palace. I have to go all the way to the lower city to find it the way I want it."

"Right, that's what everyone says," Alanna responded. "Too bad there isn't good company in the lower city as well."

When Myles didn't say anything further, Alanna prodded, "So, are you officially courting her now? Is she a secret mistress? Are you still stubbornly declaring yourselves just friends?"

Myles sighed. "I am trying to court her. She is amenable but very cautious. Young commoner girls dream of being whisked away by noblemen, but older women begin to fear that any attention from noblemen won't end well. Unfortunately, given the behavior of some of our fellows, it's a wise kind of caution."

Alanna started to ask another question, but Myles cut her off. "That's all you'll get out of me on the subject. However, I would like to resume our tea times, just perhaps on a different day."

"Name your time. And I'll stop prying, but I must admit I'm delighted to hear that you're pursuing her. I think you would make each other very happy."

* * *

"I think they may be the closest thing to mother and father-figures that I have, since the premature death of my own parents. I suppose it's a bit of a childish fancy to see them together," Alanna confided to Jon the next day as she performed his weekly physical.

"It's not childish. You've led a tumultuous life, and you're only eighteen. It's natural to crave that kind of stable connection."

They were quiet for a moment until Jonathan let out a laugh. "Alanna the matchmaker," Jonathan said. "I didn't see that one coming. That's a very noble lady-like thing to do. And I hadn't pictured Myles as anything other than a bachelor, but good for him!"

"I guess none of us are too old to grow and change," Alanna replied. "Quiet for a moment, I need to hear your vitals."

Alanna frowned. "Your heart rate is quite fast. You didn't run or do hard exercise just before I got here, did you?"

"No," Jonathan said slowly. "My heart rate is up because I've been working up the courage to do this."

They were already standing close and facing each other. Jonathan closed the gap, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her gently.

She returned the kiss but pulled away before it got too deep. "You could have waited until I finished the exam, at least."

"My apologies," Jonathan said huskily. "By all means, continue."

They both tried to pretend that they didn't notice her hands shaking slightly as she finished scanning him with her gift.

"Physically, you're in good health," she said finally. "Although I can't speak for your judgment."

"My judgment has never been better," Jonathan said coolly.

He moved in to kiss her again and sighed heavily when she took a step back.

"Don't fight what has to be. You know it as well as I do."

"I know no such thing. You're the heir. You have responsibilities."

"That doesn't change the fact that we belong to each other. Can you honestly tell me you don't want this?"

"Jonathan, please," Alanna replied softly.

"Will you sit down and let me pour you a drink?" Jonathan asked.

Alanna nodded and followed him to a nearby couch. Jonathan waited until she had a few sips of wine before meeting her eyes again.

"I've wanted more than friendship from you since you were fifteen, but I thought it would be wrong to act on it. When I finally caved and kissed you, it was a long time in coming. Since then, you've remained loyal to me even when I failed to help you. You've continued to be one of my best friends. You saved Mother, and probably Father and me as well. Now you're here, and I'm done holding back."

Alanna shook her head, "But it isn't about what we want. Your parents would never allow it. And if people saw you courting me, they would dig into my past, and my secrets wouldn't stay secret for long, and it would be a scandal."

"I don't care."

"I do! You need to marry soon for the good of the realm anyway."

"Tell me truly: if it weren't for those complications, would you want to be with me?"

She stared into her wine cup for a moment until Jonathan put two fingers under her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "It's a simple question, and I want the truth."

"Yes," she breathed. "Gods, Jonathan, after everything, how could I not?" 

"Good," he said with a satisfied smile, letting her go. "Then the answer is simple. We keep our affair secret. Thom will have to know, of course, but no one else."

At Alanna's agonized look, Jonathan added, "I know. You're tired of the lies and secrets, but this is different. It isn't life or death. If people do find out, they won't think of it as anything more than juicy gossip. I don't have to tell you that you wouldn't be the first courtier I've taken to my bed. If we're secretive about it, even badly secretive, no one will start whispering about our betrothal."

"You've thought of everything, haven't you?" Alanna replied tartly.

"Oh, my dear Alanna," Jonathan said, pulling her to him. "We have not yet scratched the surface of all the things I've thought about concerning you."

Alanna wasn't sure she had actually agreed to anything, but several minutes of his ministrations later, she didn't care.


	9. Ladies and Noblemen

Somehow, Alanna found herself attending yet another ball. She was shocked and appalled to realize that she had become extremely popular. Noblemen of all ages raced each other to ask her to dance. She tried to look to Thom for help, but he always seemed to be surrounded by a knot of women himself. Neither one of them was bad-looking, but they were nothing special in this sparkling crowd, and Alanna was mystified.

Ten dances in, she finally caught Jonathan's eye with a pleading look. The Prince edged out a nobleman who looked none-to-pleased to lose his opportunity with Alanna.

"What is going on?" Alanna asked as they danced. "Have all of these men lost their minds?"

"I think they're all acting quite sensibly," Jonathan said with a grin. "But I think I'm your problem."

"But not even Thom knows-" Alanna started.

"No, not because of that. The Court has noticed how much time I've been spending with you, or more relevantly, Thom."

"And suddenly, I'm the sister of the powerful sorcerer who has the heir's ear," Alanna said dejectedly.

"Aren't Court politics fun?"

"So much fun."

"Want me to escort you to the door before anyone else can ask you to dance?"

"Gods, yes!" Alanna exclaimed. As an afterthought, she added, "If I had known sleeping with you would get me out of balls early, I would have done it years ago."

Jonathan smirked. "Missed opportunity all around!"

The ball was only the start. Soon she was receiving invitations at least twice a day from noblemen inviting her on various chaperoned excursions or meals.

"What do I do?" She asked Jonathan as she stared miserably at the growing stack of unanswered invitations.

"Easy," Jonathan said. "Let me announce to the world that you're mine, and they can't have you."

She only glared at him.

"Fine," he said with mock hurt. "I'm not sure what to tell you. I've never actually had an invitation refused before."

"Of course you haven't."

"You're seeing mother tomorrow, right?" Jonathan asked.

Alanna nodded.

"You should ask her. I can guarantee that she's turned down many invitations, and she won't gossip about what you tell her."

"But, she's the queen," Alanna protested. "Wouldn't it be impertinent to ask her for such advice?"

"I'll let her know I made the offer. I think she'll find it reassuring if you have such a feminine problem. She'll be happy to help."

"Either way, we need to find a solution," he said, wrapping a possessive arm around her. "Because you're mine, and they can't have you."

* * *

"Just say 'no' politely," Queen Lianne explained. "Don't make up reasons like you're sick or busy because they'll just get you into trouble later. And when they start approaching your brother asking for your hand - don't look so shocked. If it hasn't happened yet, it will - just have him say that he isn't looking for matches for you at this time. No one is entitled to your time, and you don't owe anyone an explanation."

Alanna nodded in understanding.

"But if I may ask, don't you want to find a husband?" Or are you just selective?"

"I don't know what I want," Alanna replied honestly. "I wasn't planning to marry at all back when...well, I haven't exactly had the right training to be a good nobleman's wife, have I?"

"Do you still want to be a knight?" Lianne asked.

Alanna considered trying to craft a diplomatic answer but instead answered simply, "Yes."

"I'm afraid I can't relate," Lianne said gently. "I don't know why any woman would want that life. But I appreciate your candor. I don't think that path will ever be open to you, but if it's any consolation, I can tell you this: most of what makes a good noblewoman isn't taught at the convent. Don't count yourself out just yet."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

"Alanna, I'm more than happy to talk with you and give you advice, and I understand why you feel more comfortable being friends with the young men, but perhaps it wouldn't hurt for you to make some friends among the other young ladies? It might feel less daunting if you can talk to others who are also navigating balls and suitors."

"I'll keep that in mind, Majesty."

* * *

Later that day, Alanna was reading in the palace infirmary when a very short young noblewoman walked in whom she recognized immediately.

"Lady Annabella!" Alanna exclaimed.

"Yes," the woman said, looking taken aback. "Although I don't believe we've been introduced."

"No...I think I heard someone mention your name before, though," Alanna lied unconvincingly.

"Oh dear, someone's told you something embarrassing about how I used to fancy your brother, haven't they?" She smiled sheepishly. "Clearly, I know who you are too, Lady Alanna."

Alanna smiled back sympathetically. "I can't fault you for having good taste."

Annabella sighed, "He was my one great hope of having a husband who wouldn't tower over me. Ah, well." Annabella clapped a hand over her mouth. "That was terribly insensitive. Forgive me!"

Alanna shook her head and smiled. "There's nothing to forgive. He would have commiserated. We short people need to stick together. Now, what can I help you with?"

Alanna listened to the girl describe her ailment and handed her a tonic Duke Baird always kept well stocked.

"Take three spoonfuls of this when you first start to bleed each month, and it should ease the cramping for the full cycle."

"Thank you! I should have come asking about this ages ago," Annabella said.

"You should be all set, but, um, I was wondering - I don't have many friends in the palace. Would you like to have tea or go riding or something this week?" Alanna stammered.

"I'd like that. Tea tomorrow afternoon in the garden?" Annabella asked.

"Perfect."

When Annabella left, Alanna tried to read more of her book, but she couldn't concentrate. She was back at Court, but she was learning to heal instead of kill, being courted by Jonathan instead of serving him, and now befriending other noblewomen. Why did living a normal life feel so terribly strange?

* * *

Alanna meant to tell Thom about her new relationship status with Jonathan, but somehow it never seemed like the right time. She and the Prince would often find excuses to be together during the day, and on a few occasions, Alanna had slipped out to go to the Prince's rooms late at night and returned to her own room early in the morning.

One evening, Jonathan had come to Thom and Alanna's rooms to discuss the next spell he wanted to learn. After an hour, Thom had some other engagement and left the two of them alone. This had, of course, led them to Alanna's bedroom, where, exhausted by magic and other exertions, they had both unintentionally fallen asleep.

The next morning, they dressed quietly, and Alanna peaked out the door leading to the sitting room that lay between her room and the hall to see if the coast was clear.

"I know you have company. You might as well both come out," Thom said without looking up from his book.

Alanna opened the door wider, and she and Jon joined Thom at the table.

"Are you going to marry her, now that you've sullied her honor?" Thom asked Jonathan dryly.

Jonathan somehow managed to look sincere and smug at the same time. "If you insist, Lord Th-"

"No, we are not talking about marriage," Alanna interrupted firmly. "And I will defend my own honor, thank you."

"Fine. Do as you like." Thom replied. "But, Highness, do remember that I'm among the world's most powerful sorcerers and can make you sorely regret any... bad decisions."

"Thom!" Alanna started, "You can't threaten the-"

Jonathan quieted her with a hand on her arm. "I would expect nothing less. And believe me, I know better than anyone that your sister is not to be trifled with."

With that, he leaned down and kissed Alanna, then bid them good morning and left.

Thom turned back to his sister. "If it's not one thing with you, it's another. I really will turn him into something small and slimy if you ever want me to."

Alanna just shook her head and left to go find some breakfast.

* * *

Alanna was surprised to find conversation with Annabella to be fairly easy once she finally gave herself permission to relax.

Annabella was only at Court for the season. Most of the year, she traveled with her new husband or ran their fief, which faced many of the same struggles as Trebond. Her region also had an unusually low concentration of gifted people, and she was eager to get Alanna's thoughts on how to best care for her people with limited healers.

They also exchanged palace gossip, and Alanna couldn't resist asking, "Will you tell me more about Alan? What did the other ladies think of him?"

Annabella hesitated before saying, "Alright, but stop me if it gets too painful, okay?"

"I will," Alanna assured her.

Annabella nodded and leaned back in her chair. "Ah, Squire Alan. Where to begin? He was incredible, right? I saw that duel with that Tusaine knight - the stories aren't exaggerated. He humiliated that man so thoroughly. It was glorious. And there were so many other stories about him - the desert demons and the sweating sickness. I'm sure you got sick of those tales as his sister, but he was sort of a legend already, and Prince Jonathan clearly adored him.

But at the same time, he was so short, and he didn't have the big muscles that the other squires and knights did. He was built - well, almost exactly like you. Your family resemblance is quite striking! And he was so awkward around women, just clearly uncomfortable.

So some of the girls decided he was mysterious and were determined to be the one to crack his shell. Some tried to use him to get to Prince Jonathan, which of course, always failed. And the rest just couldn't be bothered. Clearly, I was in the first group. The height thing was very appealing, and my parents would have loved for me to snag the Prince's squire, but mostly I thought being married to him would have been adventurous and thrilling. Silly, right? It probably would have meant sitting in Trebond alone while he went off having adventures without me."

Annabella paused and her eyes grew wide. "Oh, Great Mother Goddess, save me from my stupidity! I'm sorry, again, I didn't mean to imply...I know you were at Trebond…"

"And again, there's nothing to apologize for," Alanna said. "That's honestly my greatest fear about marriage. I don't think men should get to have all the adventures without us."

"Certainly not!" Annabella agreed.

They moved on to safer topics, and Alanna was very proud to have successfully made her first noblewoman friend.


End file.
